Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Future Malaysian Superheroes

In the likes of Keluang Man, Super Arang Man, and most recent- Cicakman! comes in the string of DC and Marvel 'celup' ripoffs comes a new generation of superheroes whose role seem to recede from that of a world saviour to stopping short of being the village idiot.

Here are some possible future 'superheroes' in Malaysia to be appearing cheap RM2 comic books and pirated VCDs nationwide..

Name: Katak Man

Basic Info: Some thing like Gamabunta from Naruto, only much smaller and presumably much more useless.And probably greener and slimier.

History:After falling into a giant beer vat in the Carlsberg factory in Shah Alam, beer factory worker M.K Periasamy saunters out with renewed vigour and zest and decides that he has a higher calling to preserve the frogs living near his house from imminent destruction in the hands of evil state executive councillors who are hell bent on building giant mansions without permits.He thus cuts his hand and tries to summon out Gamabunta but fails, so he goes to a Fun Custome Shop near his place and buys a frog suit.Convincing himself that he is in fact a giant frog in his past life, Periasamy goes in a lives with the frogs in a giant longkang near his house.Whenever any motorist passes by, Periasamy, assuming its some Indonesian workers who wants to build a mansion,he jumps out and scares the living daylights out of them.

Enemies:Other inhabitants of the longkang who keep wondering where this fugly frog came from and try their best to shoo him away by biting, stinging,poking and prodding him.

Name: Sampah Tong Man

Basic Info: Some sort of a poor man's Inspector Gadget

History: Former engineering,forensics and law honours student Pai Kia gets disheartened because his application to join the PDRM got rejected. It sounds normal, but so did his application to join Kastam, Imigresen, Jabatan Perikanan and MPK.So this dude wanders around and starts lepaking with some drug addicts in KL.He also starts eating garbage, quite literally.One day he gets this inspiration and using his engineering training to start building gadgets and weapons and even a car, affectionately known as the Lori Sampah.His first sign of recognition came where he brought down an entire gang of microchip-container-hijackers by pelting them with used milk cans.

Enemies:Flies, Cockroaches, rats and homeless people who think he is trying to steal their food and ruin their delicate ecosystem.

Name : Mad Rempit

Basic Info: Origins unknown (as he is believed to have forgotten his name as a result of smoking too much marijuana) , powers include Flying Bike, Noisy Bike, Wheelie and Hari Raya Fireworks (no one has actually seen him do a Fireworks, as it involves sacrificing himself by setting his bike on fire and ramming a police blockade)

History : It is widely believed that the guy riding bike registration number MAT 1, is the legendary Mad Rempit.Formerly a normal Mat Rempit, he was brought in under UMNO Youth's Mat Rempit Rehabilitation program.Unfortunately his mental state got screwed after he got beat up senseless by the police for wearing a keADILan T-shirt and badly bleeding, he ran to a nearby TGV that was showing 'Ghostrider'.He then decided that he was actually Ghostrider, went off sold his fortune to buy the license plate and modified his Kris 2 into some power packed bike that is totally not road-safe.Although not much danger to others, he sometimes throws rocks at policemen and once assaulted a stray cat because he thought it was staring at him.

Enemies: Road bullies, JPJ and PDRM.

...The End...

Feeling a little down as the girl is sick :-( Hopefully she feels better today .

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Upcoming Sleep Depravation

Oh damn-I just looked through my schedule on my desktop calendar this weekend.I think its um, an understatement to say i would probably end up in a morgue come next Monday.

30th Work-related stuff till 5, Classes 7-10.30
1st Work 8-4.30, classes 7-10pm [1st day no sleep]
2nd Work 12am-8am, classes 2pm-8pm,after midnite birthday eve (bound to have some activities, most likely involving hilltop casinoes belonging to the Lims... would be back to Klang in morning) [2nd day no sleep]
3rd - lunch appointment and finally in the evening ,should be my first date with her.(so kudomono-san, if you happen to be reading, kindly forgive the panda eye look and incoherent rambling should I happen to do so -note that this is probably a very ultra overworked me you'd be talking to=D )[I'd probably be in hyperdrive again after meeting her and all, just like what happened when she 3rd day no sleep]

Hopefully can slip in some sleep between jobs/classes.Hopefully it does not 'automatically' occur while behind that round thing that controls your car steering :P

Of all the stuff there, of course I am looking most forward to a first 'official' date with her......its like getting a new complicated electronic equipment.After being happy you got it, you still have to take time to understand it and stuff.

For the record, my personal best is 4 nights with no/very little sleep - about 30 mins each; on three occasions - 1) Form 4, during a camp where I was part of the organizing team and basically had so many problems we ended up with almost no sleep 2) When I pulled out a 4 nighter while working at Northport covering 10 shift back-to-back 3) The last week before my Final Year Project submission in college; so the likelihood of me ACTUALLY dying from sleep depravation is highly unlikely la.Unless my kelaun category friends decide to make me drink in Genting whereby if that happens would hasten a very untimely death , where the victim would be me.

And now certainly would be a lousy time to for that to happen ;)

Monday, November 27, 2006

Officially Attached

Day starts pretty rough when some um, complications arise at work that culimates in a very panicked Emmanuel dropping his phone and effectively killing his camera function in the process.Day then goes on to proceed where he whacks himself on the head when the car he was eyeing fell short of the estimated price, meaning he could actually afford the damned single digit registration, two year old Civic.Unfortunately he neither brought a cheque book nor cash for the downpayment.So what could possibly go right today that made his day?

Well, the days and days of hard gathering (LoL!) has ended and yea, finally the girl he had a thing for the last one and a half years odd, plus or minus ended on a pleasant note .He started a 2.5 hour phone conversation single, and ended it as an attached dude.Attached means like its official la.

Attached meaning he has a whole new set of objectives to fulfil on a personal basis.Attached as in rethinking his priorities.Attached as in caring for someone in a deeper level.Attached as in less clowning and more doing.

Attached as in as in ensuring that she never, ever feels sorry for making the decision she made today.Attached as in doing everything that's within his power to make and keep this 'gift' God gave him, happiness she deserved long ago and to treat her how she should have been treated long long ago, never less.Attached as in never letting her down, let her cry nor stand her up on any promise.

And attached as in I am no longer single.Kirei Desu :). God I Hope I know WTF I am Getting into.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Goodbye Malboro and the Origins of Alcahol

The fruit (I shall henceforth cease from calling her the hunted one, or even the chased fish as I am currently awaiting an answer LoL.Fruit denotes a more um, subtle suggestion as in there is no aggression involved.Fruits represents patience laer basically.So I'm just waiting for fruit to be well, picked I guess hehe.And so happens that fruit does not like smokers, however little you consume, so...

To add to the list of things I've taken up (i.e. Japanese, freeweights,lessons in coded-speak) or in this case, given up. First picture: Malboro Lights in old cover and second picture: The stripped Malboro Lights without cover.Despite the lower price, more attractive cover and the fact that I inhale enough secondary indirect smoke enough to fog a small neighbourhood for Aedes in every management meeting,she does not like smokers (even my type who consumes a cigarette once in a very rare, light colored blue moon =P , and distributes the rest to other smokers)
But its a price I'm willing to pay la.
So there you have it.No more lung exercise, however minimal, I'm going smoke free... LoL.I'm just hoping she does not mind some alcahol la.This is because being a half Indian I kind of have alcahol flowing through my veins.See I have this theory as to why Indians are good drinkers.Consider the white man.He created alcahol from what, malted barley, wheat , potatoes, grapes and various cacti.Consider the Chinese. They created alcahol from rice, so did their Japanese counterparts.Now ALL these are common items grown wild and more importantly, grown on the ground and therefore pose a minimal risk as far as NIOSH / DOSH is concerned.
Now consider the Indian man.
He climbs a freaking tall tree to tap coconut sap to make toddy.He does this twice a day.Now see the difference in effort here.We were freaking made to drink wei.My ancestors (at least on one side) climbed trees to get themselves high.Which would explain why my Chinese good friend here cannot drink la.His ancestors (both halves) basically harvested rice, a common activity and made some extra rice into rice wine la.As to why some of my Chinese brothers can drink well, its a mystery to me.The only explanation I can think of, is somewhere along the line, either their ancestors accidentally fell into a vat of brewing Carlsberg, Guiness or illegally distilled Cap Kapal Layar whisky, OR, they are actually Indians who are suffering from a skin condition that makes them look Chinese.
Remember.....For Bible thumpers and Evangelists and self-righteous purists who tell you alcahol is the enemy, God said love your enemy :P. If they tell you good men don't drink, ask them if Jesus drank Ribena during the Last Supper.And if they shake their head at you in an irritating fashion, introduce them to your Kepong friends (I've always had this vision of Kepong as a Indian gangsta's paradise de luxe with thousands upon thousands of revellers lepaking under a signboard saying "Welcome to Kepong" and drinking), and perhaps the only place where they don't run away when asked to by the police, instead chase them off with parangs.And they are probably some policemen in there drinking as well :P
Its been a great week, only because I at least, seem to be on the correct way to be well, declared no longer a single o.O
Sayonara tabako...
Suki desu ka?Kudomono-san?

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Saturday, November 25, 2006

Learning Japanese

Sigh.All in the name of love?Well yea I guess.I mean when I was going out with my ex, I always felt the need to do stuff for her, but not in the way I am doing it now (as my friend would knowingly agree to).Maybe I've matured from the previous relationship and learnt how to treat lady (its been a good near 2 years, I've learnt a lot) .Perhaps its the working environment.Perhaps its because in the case of my new interest, I started off as being good friends with her first.And so the feeling is deeper than a skin deep attraction.

Hmm ,learning the language of those kelauns who came into my country, stole my grandfather's bicycle, made my dad's generation survive on tapioca and grated coconut,cycled away and had the next few Prime Ministers laud them and started a whole new 'Look East Policy' that brought in Japanese cars, motorcycles,electrical and electronics, anime , fengtau songs, Tokyo Drift,Ayumi Hamasaki, Para Para Sakura and Japanese porn where the girl screams before the dude even enters the room and where very little conversation occurs apart from 'Ite' and 'Yamete'.

And the progress has been painstakingly slow.It was much more simpler throwing away whataver cigarettes I had left (last Malboro Lights ones went out today-yea am giving that up too) than making sense from a fast talking shinobi called Naruto or a good looking shinigami called 'Strawberry' (Ichigo).Of course there are other stuff you can learn from anime like this and this

Of course, the girl I am hunting (or at this pace, more like gathering berries, albeit slightly faster now [grins]) loves Kenshin Himura la, you know if you'd read my earlier posts on anime, that he eventually dies of an unknown STD.Yea and he infects his girl too.

But nowadays I re-watch Naruto and Bleach just to pick up the words ler.And its helpful to have a Japanese book by your side.So yea.If my dear readers would love this madness (posts about my love life) to stop, kindly post comments here to get her to cepat2 to date me and get it over with :P)

So that I can go back and wax lyrical about politics and religion again.But then again maybe relationships is not such a bad topic for a blog anyway right?Selling myself as Lovelace/Hitch/Dear Thelma here.Any takers?Thought not.

Enjoy the weekend folks, or whatever little crumbs remain of it after your boss has raped and ravaged your holidays LoL......

Note: I modified this post coz basically I posted the wrong link and my friend's blog pointed to a Mexican porn

Friday, November 24, 2006

The Hunt Series-Ep 1

Upon her request , I am gonna start blogging about the my primordial hunting ritual with this girl (although seriously at the pace its going it seems more like gathering fruit, picking berries or game fishing.)

So what could possibly make an overworked, dude who, all in a week , apart from having a hectic week at work,had his expensive training manuals drenched in the rain coz he forgot to close his car window, just discovered he took a pretty big darn pay cut due to making too many calls on his company phone, got a near death scare when his walkie talkie almost went missing (raising a very real fear of an even bigger pay cut),that his bonus may not be out in the bank as soon as he thinks he would be and that he had racked up a pretty big repair bill for his near dying car, and that the pretty, gorgeous new Civic he has been eyeing in an auction place has a one digit registration number,now making it near impossible to own it (now some vultures will be out not for the Civic, but for the freaking license plate) and that some of his unit trusts actually went down in value....He ended the week watching Happy Feet - a movie that actually pissed him off- looking like a lousy mix between a documentary and a musical, two of his least liked movie genres.And Minishorts was right- Nicole Kidman's voice is damned irritating.What could possibly make his week?

Well if you'd been remotely bothered to follow the drama in this blog you'd know that I've told the girl I like her and so far she has not thrown any cold water on the idea yet, which is pretty encouraging la (to those guys cackling at this point, no, she is not blind, nor deaf, nor has she been living in Mars for the last few years)

Yea, and today marked a milestone in this hunt.With quite a few um, spears if you will, flying left and right and if I read the messages correctly it is no longer a question of if, but when.And when should be coming up soon-ish la.Apparently driving up to pick her from a train station would have helped my bonus points la, but she kinda arrived early, and by proxy, that would mean I arrived late, but at least now she knows I mean well, sincere la to say the least ;). The message count now stands at 40 on her side, 43 on my side :P , that would be for today only, that is :P

Well as I told her via phone

Price of petrol to train station - RM 1
Medication to prevent cold- RM 3
Hearing I am 'Almost there' -Priceless.

Yea sappy and pretty cheap la but it kinda made my day (smiles). And so that would be my milestone for the day.Back to some serious posts before some more sappy stories if it arises.

Oh yea specific request was asked to blog about this incident where I answered my bosses' call this evening and thought it was her.As a result my house is now wet. (as I cut short my bath for it) Turns out it was not her and when I mentioned it to her, she of course, ROTFLed and and asked me to include it in la (I hope you having a field day reading this)

At least I recovered some data packets today.Till the next post :D

How to Stop Racial Extremists.

Just some random ideas on how to stop the propagation of silly narrow minded ideas of race based politics (especially during party general assemblies)

Other General Ass-emblies.

1.Get the other parties to wear traditional costumes.MCA could wear the kung fu suits (sam foos- I never got it.Sam Foo, literally translates to 'Bitter Soul' in Cantonese) instead of white shirts and MCA could wear a cool vesti complete with flower garlands.Show more skin people.Tatooes and pierced noses adds to the general vibe.

2.Insert traditional weapons with those costumes.I do not particularly know how the MCA delegates will carry in halberds or nunchucks, but imagine how cool will be to have this like army of people walking in to opera music wielding halberds?

3.MIC people could just obtain your local RM 15 parangs.Be careful not to hurt your um, egos when you slot em in.

4.As for multiracial parties like PPP or Gerakan, can just use like antique revolvers or something.

Nationwide Secret Plan

1.Should target all those who made like radically racial comments find out where they live etc.Get some limau kasturi (you don't have to spend for it, just go to your local mamak and ask for the ones they use in limau ais), grab some of your mum's kum kum (red powder used for prayers) or your little brother's water colour tube, put the red colouring on the limau, and leave in front of the dude/dudette's house.For extra effect, stick a joss stick inside the limau.

2.Chinese dissidents (as in dissed-residents :P ) can similarly put a white steamed chicken (bak cham gai) and stick a red candle somewhere near their house.Get a stone tablet and write something Chinese on it (doesn't matter what- it could even be the bak cham gai recipe in Chinese).The only thing these dudes probably know about Chinese culture is the pantang on number four, paint a big ass four on the chicken.Heck, it might look like a dead ayam sabung (fighting cock) but who cares.

2.At like 12pm nationwide, get a covert team of people to monitor these dudes.When those freaked out extreme jokers start moving around in the crowd, probably oblivious to the fake charms outside their houses, follow them to the lift or office or mamak or something.Sharp 12 pm, (sync your clocks) look them in the eye and murmur "Californication" real fast three times and for added effect blow some talcum powder (can be either baby powder or even Follow Me) in their face and before they know what happened walk really fast away, about ten steps away, look back, give them a sinister grin and dissapear into the crowd of concerned 'posse'.

P/S: Tongue in cheek people.Please do not try this at home, any risk of arrest, riots or beating up by either FRU and/or angry henchmen would be borne by the reader.

P/P/S: If you are reading this, yea I still like you.Its not a crush and yea, no matter how many girls you think are more suited to me, I decided 1.5 years ago on which type of routers I like and which particular model :P,Dearest readers thanks for your support in this um quest of mine.To the dude who posted the Japanese phrase in the last post ...PLease try some anal-gesic(bun/pun intended) cream for that pain.Please send my best to your

a)Gay partner
b)Your girlfriend who seems to like using a strapon dildo on you.

Much love people.


Wednesday, November 22, 2006

A successful Ping

Hmm.....we've got one successful ping at work alright, well a young manager whose name ends with Ping.....So Mr WP, if you're reading this feel free to buy me supper.(I think there was a point there somewhere but I digress)

This is a successful ping :D

One is a router after basic configuration and the other is after its been connected to two other routers.Just discovered that configuring routers is not really as simple as I thought it was (I always assumed it would involve minimal configuration much like access points or base stations using FXWorks, which I am more familiar with as compared to IOS)
However as a ping is basically a request for response I suppose THIS qualifies for a ping la :P
And yea I got the ping response today.In slightly technical terms let's just say the ping returned the packets instantly,but reserved some other packets to be processed.The late packets would be returned when the server is ready, and I think in this particular instance. the ping return would take more than a few miliseconds. As such I am sending in a ping with "-t" :P
In less technical terms, looks like its gonna take some time la LoL.And basically I'll be waiting la (aiseh sound so damn cliche')

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

To the girl I like

Sorry guys, this is a kinds sticky note meets declaration of independence lol.Hopefully she reads it.LoL- so no governmental banging this time la .Heh...

To whom it may concern ( you know who you are)

I Understand..

- You've been in a bad relationship
-You've been hurt badly by the dude who probably never deserved you in the first place.
-You're afraid to hurt and to be hurt.
-You've been cut deep.
-You like to play things safe now.
-You probably things are too fast.
-You're probably worried about cultural and difference in background etc
-You're probably worried that I don't know what I'm getting myself into

I know....
-Its hard to start over from a broken relationship.I know, I've tried.
-Its harder to forget that one, especially after so soon.
-If you don't try you never know
-You only live once
-Every day spent sad is a day wasted
-I can and will make you happy.
-I would rather hurt myself than see you cry.

You should know that....
-I would not have admitted to it if you had not dragged me home from Sunway and make me meet you online at an ungodly hour :P. I wanted to be as you know by now , better off in the few ways I told you before daring to ask you out.
-I am not the type who plays a girl's feelings.
-I think you're a great person, both in and out.
-I believe one and a half years is a long time.And I've not changed my mind as I told you despite all the opportunities (which I also told you about)
-I not only think you're good enough, I think you're all I will ever need.
-Its not a crush, I am not drunk and neither am I going to change my mind tommorow.Or the day after, or a few years later, or when MPK finally decides to bring down Datuk Zakaria's mansion.
-I think your hair looks good on you even though I make fun of it
-I think being small sized is not the worse thing in the world, it suits you no matter how much I never let it slide o.O
-I would give anything to have us togather.Tell me the cost.

Give me a chance and give yourself a chance.Coz if you never try you would never know.Like I've promised- I'd wait 10 days 10 months or ten years for you to be strong enough to take the first step.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Why You Shouldn't Drink Too Much

...Coz you'll end up like my friend En Y (bukan nama sebenar).Coz as far as my dad taught me- they are four effects of drinking - excessive aggression(including profanity,violent tantrums and perhaps wielding of traditional weapons) , excessive love (you start hugging and kissing everyone around you), excessive bitching (you start complaining about your work place, your rent etc etc),or excessive silence (you just stop talking, and look at everyone around you suspiciously like they're gonna steal your drink)
So Y was a culmination of all 4.The first I've seen, in fact.Here is Y after about 5 drinks.At Redbox Karaoke

At this point he cannot sing with his voice anymore so he sings with the voice inside his head.Oh,yea Y, I've taken the liberty of adding 'sunglasses' for you to dim the limelight.

Alcahol has a tendency (making you believe) of your voice improving and that you sound like Faye Wong, even though you sound more like Papa Bear, while drastically making your friends sound bad

After a staggering journey (he staggered),Y falls asleep at a local mamak while developing false memories (he later claims to have eaten something else)

IMPORTANT NOTE: If anyone recognizes Y, please do NOT mention his name out in the Comments :P Thanks.Its bad enough we know what he looks like :P

Lizards Migrating North

Group of lizards were running around my colleagues room the other day (probably migrated from PWTC, terrified by violent UMNO speakers)so we caught one just for the heck of it.Hey Johany, if you happen to see this, note how similar this is to an iguana, further substantiating my argument that iguanas are nothing more than green lizards, and that Leja (her pet iguana) is basically either an oversized cicak or an tragically undersized dinosaur.Oh ya, no offence, Lizzam I know we used to tease you with that name back in our schooling days LoL...

Imagine how scared those poor reptiles would have been, seeing all the scary speeches and hearing the delegates declaring war on every other race.I mean if Bawang Putih Bawang Merah (a popular Indonesian series) got 'hentam' what more of pesky lizards.They must have been worried sick, especially with so many people looking for a business idea or contract walking around.What if someone caught them all and dried them and tried to pass them off as dried tongkat ali?Those poor things.How alarmed they must have been to see warriors brandishing keris.And not to mention the rats,the cockroaches, houseflies and other household pests that moved out of PWTC. I think DBKL will have an uphill task to control them while the SPCA should do something about this.

So for those who cannot afford iguanas, I recommend you my new pet lizard.I'm calling him MENJ.

See how cute the guy looks, wondering all of a sudden why he cannot move around.

MENJ hesitates to leap out even though given the option to.Hey, if I came from PWTC these few days, I wouldn't want to go back either :P

Saturday, November 18, 2006

UMNO Members Ultimate Wish

Well, the title should actually read UMNO Hates Chindians, but if I would have put that title chances are I would be 'keris'ed to death by now by an angry crowd that marched from PWTC to Kelana Jaya just to clobber me to a pulp.Then they would insist that my imminent death was a result of the proper intepretation of the National Constipation , or more commonly called the Perlembagaan (interesting to note 'lembaga' in Malay can mean shadowy figure, so another way to look at Perlembagaan is something that was written by shadowy figures :P)

That and the fact that some monkey somewhere will demand that the word Chindian be defined constitutionally or I be thrown into Simpang Renggam for using an unauthorized and dangerous word to the harmony and stability of this country.He will probably say this in the same line as calling me a 'cina buta' from Tsnjung Keling, but hey, I am a minority so I guess I deserve it la :P

The way I see it, its quite simplistic.UMNO hates and loves their allies at the same time.On one side, they need the economic powerhouse unit, generally known as 'the Chinese' to propel many aspects of the economy, they want the Chinese and Indians and 'lain-lain' to drink their livers to cirhossis and smoke their lungs to cancer, they want the Chinese and Indians to gamble their livelihoods away to gain more and more tax, BUT they hate the fact that we are doing it here at the same time.

In an ideal world, they would rather have all of us rallied into this island,with a huge casino and thousands of pubs and competitively priced cigarettes so that we can drink and drink and smoke and smoke and breed a limited amount of children and continue the cycle.Then they would form a department similar to Jabatan Hal Ehwal Orang Asli called 'The Foreign Locals Department' and place us all under virtual house arrest(sounds like a movie I once saw)

That way they can still tax us without even looking at our pathetic selves or listening to our unbearable grouses like please stop beating our children to death in prisons, please stop throwing stones into our places of worship and tearing them down, please stop asking us not to bring our own food to school and please stop threatening to use traditional weapons on us.Oh and please stop asking us to go home to our home countries while telling us we are the same big happy Semua Boleh family.Its very confusing.

While you are there, please stop telling us the economy is peachy even though every analyst is saying otherwise.Please stop raising oil prices to buy some buses and tarring some roads.Please stop convincing us that IT is hugely in demand when half of the IT graduates today work as either gym promoters, credit cards salespeople or most importantly overpaid, overtrained and overglamourized phone operators guised as Global International Ultra VIP User Support Executive.And tell us that India ain't good enough to do it- Malaysia is the choice destinationa nd we reign supreme, truly Asia bla bla bla bla bla.Just because they talk with a slang thicker than the smog coming out of the Kalimantan hazy fires.

Coz when you boil it down,it doesn't really matter if you clean a village toilet or the toilet in the White House, you're still a toilet cleaner.Stop telling us what we want to hear and start telling us what we should hear.Stop telling us Malaysians are getting richer when all you've done is lower the economic bar.Stop telling us that we have a higer purchasing power matched by a stronger inflation rate.Stop selling us a 0.05 % higher dividend or interest payout with deposits while tripling your loan interest rate.Stop telling us you merged two banks and lowered the NPL rate by 10% and increased your NAV by 20% but making 35,000 people jobless in the process.Really, how long do you think you can keep the truth from us, I mean they've even got a site for prepaid rates now (So we have another source apart from Datuk Seri Lim Keng Yaik- and a less salivated one)

Of course they are the good UMNO members la, and I know quite a few.Not all hope to maroon me on an island, or beat me to avenge the Palestinians and Lebanese, or fire me because I stole my current job from a hardworking public university students whose English vocabulary is limited to 'leaded or unleaded (petrol) or 'Coffee or Tea' , 'miracolously' obtaining an A in English , demands a salary of 10k plus a company jet, but obviously deserves my job more coz I'm a local foreigner.... but I am sure many would like to LOL.Maroon me on an island that is :P

So maybe I'll volunteer by moving to Penang la (already getting hentam for their many NGOs and association with the Konrad Adaneur Foundation). Oh and by the way I am also a supporter of the Global Ethics project and a member of the UPP (also affliated to the KAF).So bite me.Lidah dalam pipi :)

Friday, November 17, 2006

Gasing spinning in Outer Space.Why not a Dreidel?

Today they wanna play batu seremban and gasing in space.Wow! What a world of scientific breakthroughs awaits us!!

Imagine if we were to write a science report on this.

Topik : Permainan Tradisional di Angkasa Lepas

Tujuan : Mengkaji kesan graviti sifar ke atas permainan tradisional Melayu.

Radas : 2 unit gasing,1 unit dreidel (sebagai radas kawalan), penutup botol Fanta, satu set batu seremban, jam milisaat

Hipotesis:Membuktikan yang rakyat Malaysia terlalu banyak wang cukai untuk dibazirkan dengan usaha tidak logik.


1. Gasing A diputar seiring dengan dreidel untuk membuktikan kehebatan seni permainan Melayu silam berbanding permainan kejam rejim Yahudi.

2.Gasing B dibiarkan pada titik tolak, untuk membuktikan yang gasing tidak akan berputar secara automatik, melainkan anda membuat inferens terhadap wayang 'Spinning Gasing'

3.Masa (dalam ms) direkod.

4.Didapati masa (ms) selama gasing itu berputar bersamaan masa yang terbuang.

5.Ulang langkah (1) hingga (4) dengan batu seremban, penutup botol, wau bulan,congkak,lastik, silat gayung, mengukir payung dan apa apa aktiviti lain yang dipromosi Kementerian Kebudayaan, Kesenian dan Pelancongan sempena Tahun Melawat Malaysia.

Keputusan: Masa direkod dan hipotesis dijangka tertahkik.Jika terdapat apa-apa yang kelihatan seperti salib atau imej agama asing, sila laporkan kepada unit baru Angkasa Lepas PPIM

Nota:Para angkasawan juga diingatkan yang teh tarik yang dibuat di angkasa lepas juga tidak semestinya halal,dan walaupun diiktiraf halal oleh JAKIM, ia masih perlu diakui PPIM.Jika tidak, satu laporan polis akan dibuat ke atas pihak Nasa, European Space Agency dan kerajaan Rusia.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Cookies N Crosses

It was only a matter of time before the radicals did something like this.The victims of radicalism so far : Lina Joy, Azhar Mansor, the Mufti of Perak and the latest: Wall's Moo Ice Cream.

The same jokers who probably watch and ogle at Wall's sponsored show : Love Perhaps? Read about it from the horses' mouth here . Be sure to extend it and read the comments- very disturbing.

At the same time at the UMNO General Assembly- we hear disturbing speeches about bloodbaths and violence.Sigh, when will they ever learn? Or do we want to turn out to be this type of country?

Fools.Fools. And politically motivated fools.We are surrounded by people either blinded by their own agenda and greedily trying to push their way to the top by stepping all over the rights of others, and hurting the feelings of their allies.Which is why sometimes I wonder if the other component parties consists of kayus and statues that just sit around and get insulted all day long with a stupid smile on their face from big paychecks from alibaba projects.Sigh.

Times like this I feel like taking up politics, but sometimes I figure why waste my time?This country is not prepared for total democratic politics.Hopefully in a brighter future.Right now, all we are producing are either Gandhis (pacifist non violent opposition), Jose Rizals (outspoken opposition, usually ends up in Kamunting Hotel), Donald Trupms (politics for contracts) and Statues of Liberty (well, the first part represents their nature and the second part is their function- models of 'balanced power sharing'

Even the usually radical MENJ is left up in arms about this.

Oh well, off to class now.SOrry for the short post and have a great night , my friends.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

And UMNO convenes...again.

Well, as usual we now have the UMNO general assembly going on, interrupting our favourite Argentinian or Thai soap dramas with thickly racial and religious rhetoric.Sometimes we are left gaping at stupid statements that are made by the by-products of NEP (the actual products of the NEP, are too busy working their asses off like the rest of us, because they actually learnt well, work hard and want to make a living la- either that or their dads and moms are not major UMNO members) ...these young upstarts (especially those UMNO 'princesses' and 'princes' would stoop to the lowest form of verbatim, yelling and demanding basically for us to give and give ...and give....and give... Read this interesting post by UMNO's ally, MCA.Anyway, this is also tongue in cheek and done in the name of humour.I am especially respectful to UMNO, basically because they can make me poor, put me under ISA or worse still, make me an UMNO member without me knowing it and expel me from the party.

Just kidding guys, I do enjoy the way this country is being run by BN, and I hope the status quo remains.

That being said, somehow the keris wielding folk, loud mouthed folks who usually dominate the talk are a far cry from the cool braders on the ground.I think its important to look at the matter in perspective- most UMNO guys are actually quite nice fellows.
(My gym instructor is one of the nicest guys in the world, and he's UMNO youth.OK he does make me run like hell but its my own fault for eating to much and developing spare tyres)

But year after year I am left wondering why the ok, cool guys are the ones watching the proceedings from TV or from newspapers, when the loud ultras are the one in TV, yelling the same thing over and over again.Basically, I always joke that life moves in circles and everything has an SoP (standard operations procedure).Seems that UMNO General Assembly does not run away from this la.

Puteri UMNO- Apart from top leadership (groomed to take over Wanita when its leader resigns or retires fine day....hopefully) and, the typical Puteri member consists of three types.
a) Mummy or Daddy is in UMNO, so as any good daughter she joins Puteri UMNO.
b) Her husband and or boyfriend is an UMNO leader, so she gets the post automatically
c) Dynamically recruited from university in obvious ignorence to the Akta Universiti dan Kolej 1971, she actually believes in the cause, which is still quite fuzzy to me.

Puteri UMNO, is after all, a younger, much prettier version of Wanita.And mostly they do not suffer from diabetes and obesity and high blood pressure and , well menopause.
They would go on the sacred 'pulpit' and basically ask for more of everything,while insisting that Malay women are better than Chinese women, at the same time asking for more economic protection, and bashing in the process, effectively every non Malay in the country,every male in the country and not forgetting their makcik counterparts in Wanita UMNO.

Putera UMNO- Again, apart from the top leadership, who is being groomed to again, take over from Pemuda when its leader someday, hopefully, eventually, maybe, possibly resigns or moves up to an opening in UMNO itself . Putera consists of dudes who

a)Has Mum and Dad in UMNO and an elder brother who is a Pemuda division chief, and a sister who holds some 'power' position as well.Typically would be a Dato' family residing perhaps in Taman Tun or something and driving German cars , in total disregard to 'Support your National Car' policy
b) His girl is a Puteri UMNO leader and if he doesn't join, he won't get her.
c) Dynamically recruited from university in obvious ignorence to the Akta Universiti dan Kolej 1971, usually a devout worshipper/follower of Tun Dr M, and draws inspiration from him.
d)Former Mat Rempit that is either reformed or threatened with police brutality unless he joins.
e)A clueless Indian dude who signed some papers thinking he was signing up for a beer discount card.

Pemuda UMNO-Consists of mostly educated people, cultured and high society, but occasionally to win over the minds of the underlings they have to act a bit rough laer, or turn off their brain for a bit.The typical Pemuda member is
a)Political blueblood who can trace his heritage back to Iskandar Dzulkarnain, or Harith Iskandar, or both
b)Former second hand car/keropok/burger/shoe/franchise chain [insert low risk, low return business here] business owner who struck gold and joint the government in gratitude, or in anticipation of more contracts.
c)Class F contractors.Class A are already in main UMNO.

Wanita UMNO - Consists of former beauty queens (stress on former), or 'modern', 'progressive' Malay womenfolk, now seasoned politicians who ,for what they lack in energy with their Puteri counterparts, they make up for with experience, and APs.They consist of


'Nuff Said.

Point to ponder.If a Dato' s wife gets a Datin, what does a Dato's husband get?Basically the SoP goes like this

Individual conventions :

1.Puteri kutuk non Malay,regardless of party, males in general and sindir-menyindir with Wanita.They then pass a resolution to support the present leadership.Wanita also kutuk the same people, and sindir balik Puteri.Then Wanita will pass a resolution supporting the current leadership, and if any resignations are taking place, pass a resolution entitled "Why?Why"

2.Putera will put on slideshows on their progress and how another 3 million youths have joined Putera (if you add the number of members of all Barisan component parties you will get approximately 27 million people, or more than the population of Malaysia).They will then kutuk MCA,MIC and other component parties.Then they will ask the component parties to be patient because 'we have yet to achieve the Malay agenda' and thank them for their understanding.Then they will kutuk them once more.They will then remind everyone to be grateful to Dr M.

3.Pemuda will have martial arts shows while wielding fashionable weapons like keris.After that they will remind non Malays that we are nobody in this country and should stay nobodies, and if possible be even more 'nobodier'. Popular phrases would include "jangan main api" , "jangan persoal hak Melayu", "ketuanan Melayu hak kami" etc etc.Johor UMNO will spend one day banging the government of Singapore, and Penang UMNO will spend one day banging Koh Tsu Koon.They will also pass a resolution to support present leadership and possibly a resolution as tot he right to bear traditional weapons.

4. When they all come togather, there will be lots and lots of doa(prayers) because UMNO doesn't wanna look less Islamic then PAS.The fact that most of its leaders does not wear tudung is a minor one.The President then makes everyone happy by supporting everything they said and all their resolutions.And he also makes the traders happy by taking snapshots with them to be plastered on all national newspapers (usually with something that commemorates him like a portrait made out of sambal, or a piece of batik that looks like him or a Hadhari handphone).And the trader is probably the same trader that sold different stuff at the PAS Muktamar and the keADILan general assembly.Only then, he was selling Islamic reading material and non alcaholic perfume and sporting a skull cap and jubah, and on the other occasion, a blue shirt and a reformasi headband, selling Anwar Ibrahim tapes.But thats only a probability.

Just a joke people.Have a wonderful second half of the week.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Malaysia under the Rule of Extremists.

It was indeed an amazing day la, but I have for some reasons promised myself I would not blog about it, so I'm going to blog about something else.Seems also that some of my kind readers (who are kind enough to even come here la hehe) posted comments and sent me emails asking me to write more tongue-in-cheeks or feet-in-mouths or whatever la.

Came across a really really funny post today that just made me ROTFL.Seriously, sometimes the need to ridicule is evident for the own sake of our country.

As a Malaysian, it hurts me to see my fellow countrymen do something silly that we as a country become the laughing stock of the international community.So in the spirit of tongue-in-cheek , here are some pieces of news we can expect to read about if the extremist ultras have their way and rule this country.And before anyone throws hate mail my way, this term 'extremist ultras' only apply to the likes of those who throw firecrackers into church because their mom and dad did not teach them how to use technology wisely, or those who throw death threats around in the name of religion coz they have neither the intellect, nor political power, nor economic capability nor ballls to oppose what they oppose openly.

May we not live to see that day...where the likes of these dictates the likes of us what to do.To the rest of the Malaysians, I love you all, and as usual if your doctor, feng shui master or family yogi has suggested that you cannot read jokes made on political and religious lines, than please leave.I cannot guarantee the delicate state of your tiny mind will not erupt into this ball of volcanic hate that will eventually cause you to bomb a pub, throw Molokov cocktails into the wrong denomination church or butt-fuck a wild goat.Remember in the spirit of tongue in cheek, people.Enjoy..

"Christmas trees banned."

Kuala Lampha, Wednesday- Shoppers and business owners today were baffled when officials from the religious department started tearing down Christmas trees from shopping centers and confisticating the trees that were for sale.

Apparently, they were not aware of a new ruling out effective yesterday banning all Christmas trees and similar decorative items for Christmas.When asked on that matter, JAKIM head had this to say "Nonsense, of course we gave them ample warning.4 whole hours. This was aired on ALL government run radio channels not once, but twice at 4.00am and 4.30am this morning.This is just some vile propaganda by the evil missionaries who wanted to baptize a million Muslims last month."

Minister in the Prime Minister's Department clarified "Not all Christmas trees are banned.We allow posters and pictures of Christmas trees to be placed as long as they do not exceed 2 feet by 2 feet in size.They can place it on fridges and decorate it with magnets."

Retiree S Dorai pledged he will continue the tradition despite the government ban."I will use a banana tree instead.." he said, remaining adamant about it, not for a second caring that his name would be broadcast through this paper.

Malaysian Consultative Council on Buddhism, Christianity,Hinduism and Sikhism (MCCBCHS) has issued a statement as follows

"We, the MCCBCHS express concern on this latest development.We will continue to be concerned while observing the goings on.If this matter worsens, it will serve to deepen our concern on this.We would like to remind the government on our continued concern on this."

Asked to comment on this developments, former Prime Minister, Tun Dr Mahathir had only this to say "Apa nama....dah cakap dah, I told you so..."

"Kafir Zones"

Following the recent confusion stemming from the SMS issue , State Governments have been instructed to take steps to counter the problem.They have been told to instruct churches, temples and non-Muslim places of worship to remove their religious symbols and replace them with a large "K" to denote 'kaffir'. According to the Housing and Local Government Ministry,this is to not confuse certain extremists who were easily confused on who to hate.

"This way, we can hate them all equally and fairly" the statement read.

The Ministry is also setting up guidelines to seeting up Kafir zones where non-Islamic activities like karaoke bars, pubs and similar activities can be held.Guard posts will be located in every entry point and the government is mulling the idea of setting up a new type of passport for this concept, to be called 'Kafir Zones'.

Any Muslim found entering these areas will be immediately arrested, the statement continued.Oddly enough, a prerequisite for all these buildings are for places of worships to be located in the middle of bars.

According to the guidelines set, this is so that Christians etc can attend Sunday service immediately after a night of heavy clubbing so that they do not miss out on 'merit points'.
Also, if they get rejected in the bar, they can always go in and pray for a girl.Or if they commit a sin, they can immediately go for a confession.Similar reasons were cited for temples as well.

"We try to mind, wherever possible the welfare of other religions as well" - the statement concluded.

"Double Class Citizenship"

Putrajaya, Tuesday- The Goverment today declared that everyone else apart from Bumiputras who belong to the ruling part would be accorded Class 2 citizenship.This includes anti government Malays and PAS supporters.A statement from the Prime Minister's office stated "JAKIM has agreed to issuing a fatwa to this effect.A drinking, philandering Muslim who belongs to the Government is better in value than a pious Muslim belonging to the Opposition.JAKIM has also agreed to only harass Class 2 citizens from now on.That way, the PM's statement added, no one could accuse it of not doing its job,at the same time ensure than 'good people' do not get harassed for nothing.

It also stressed that Class 2 citizenship does not mean 2nd class citizen.It points out that Class 2 sounds better and is completely Syariah-compliant (The Malaysian version of syariah, at least)

When contacted, the MIC president had this to say "Kami sebagai rakan dalam Barisan Nasional sentiasa akan menyokong tindakan YAB Perdana Menteri.Kami memang tiada pendirian sendiri dari segi itu, jadi kami akan menyokong tindakan ini yang akan memajukan kaum India di Malaysia. In response to the question how exactly this would help the Malaysian Indian community, the President had this to say "Itu saya belum fikir, tapi YAB Perdana Menteri tidak akan membuat keputusan yang salah.1st class atau 2nd class tiada bezanya..."

Similarly, the MCA echoed this sentiment "Kami dalam MCA mengalu-alukan tindakan YAB Perdana Menteri yang sentiasa mementingkan semua kaum dalam segala keputusan yang diambil.Kami dari MCA berasa begitu bersyukur kerana kerajaan begitu prihatin dan membenarkan kami kaum Cina menumpang di sini.Nasib baik kami todak dihantar balik ke negeri China atau ditolak masuk Singapura, memang kami akan merana.
The DAP when contacted notified this paper that the entire population of DAP members has migrated to an unspecified small island south of Malaysia bordering Johor.But the party did not give out the name of the island.

However after much deliberation, the ruling party eventually 'dropped' the idea.But political analysts concur that it was simply a calculated political move to kill off the DAP.


P/S: if you missed it the first few times please know this is tongue in cheek and a pure satire.
P/S 2: My condolences to MENJ whose grandmother passed away recently.Though we may not always agree, losing a loved one is always painful.Sorry for your loss.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Singapore Attacks Malaysia Part 2

Clockwise from top:

1)And continuing from my previous post , Malaysia retaliates to Singapore's show of force by deploying our own Seventh Fleet

2)Singapore deploys its covert destroyer , RSN 'Superstar Gemini' :P

3)Bottom : After very little deliberation , lots of yelling and kicking, and the apparent failure to piss off the Singaporeans with insults, Johor government (effectively Johor UMNO) decides to cut the water supply and force Singaporeans to drink Newater.

Yea, THE END (of who?) :P

Singapore Attacks Malaysia Part 1

Boy we sure had some action packed previous Johor trip LOL . After like ten posts- here is what we saw (actual pics to follow later

It was a beautiful day like any other-oblivious to the insults our national leaders are hurling at each other, Malaysians and Singaporeans mingle like brothers around JB (although one brother is significantly richer and more lansi than the other)

A quick survey reveals a strange structure around the sea.Misteri Nusantara crew investigates to reveal ...

The multi-million dollar Tsunami Detection system installed after months of research at Cyberjaya.

Suddenly Ahmad, our resident kambing korban points to the sky "Apa tu?"

And we saw two halos, unsure of its type.From that distance it would either be an AH 64 Apache, or a TV3 weather heli, there is no way to be sure.An uproar happens in Johor UMNO as angry members pass a resolution to attack the Singaporean army with sticks, stones and harsh language in 4 dialects.

TO BE CONTINUED (Malaysia Reacts)

Sunday, November 12, 2006

A Tongue In Cheek Twist to the Sibilin Church Saga

Since everyone(including myself ) is wound up tight and tensions are high about the issue, I thought I'd pen or, rather keyboard what a colleague of mine and I chit chatted over dinner the other day.Strictly tongue in cheek and if you cannot take racial stereotyped based jokes,religion jokes, please step away now.The last thing I need is 1,000 strong mob outside my house demanding that I stop baptizing my plants.

So imagine what would've happened right, if ONE Catholic dude who's been having a lousy week, starting with having his girl dump him, to losing his laptop, to driving his car into a tree and ending the week with a severe bout with flu (wait , sounds familiar ah?) So when a group of seriously tense, sweaty people outside starts yelling insults like "Kalau Azhar masuk, bakar bangunan ni!" (I am wondering how many of them KNOWS what Azhar Mansor looks like) and throwing firecrackers (to scare the Holy Spirit away I guess) and that unlucky Catholic dude who has been having a hell of a week and just wants to get this long boring ceremony over with cannot tahan and  sneezes.And some projectiles of saliva makes its way onto the forehead of one of the mobsters outside and he freaks out, confused and unsure if this is part of the baptism ritual (spitting on the baptisee's forehead) and decides to give the almighty warcry "Laukk!"

And all hell breaks lose when pews, candlesticks,altar cloth, flowers and church bells are used as weapons of Mass destruction, as literally the Mass turns into destruction.On the other side, banners, kopiahs and motorcycle spare parts fly.And a group of Indian passers by, (usually of Kepong origin) after spending the night camping outside Chakravati's and sipping overpriced Tiger bought from 7-11,seriously drunk and sporting little parangs sees the commotion and seeing a few Indians, mistakes this for a gang fight and yells "Dei!!! Adi Daa!Adddee!"

And so, the Adidas gang (no pun intended) join the volley and while they are busy whacking the hell of each other, some Punjabi brothers and sisters celebrating Hol come around and sprays water on everyone.Now the Indian dudes gets enraged coz someone's trying to sober them up.The mob outside the church gets more confused and enraged coz they think its bad enough the Catholics are trying to baptize them, now the Punjabis are trying to baptize them too!

On the other hand, the Punjabis side half half coz half of them see the Indians and wanna side with them since we come from the same subcontinent, one quarter side with the Malay dudes coz they hate the Indians and another quarter side with the Malays as well, coz they're dating a Malay chick, who digs the whole Shah Rukh Khan thing.And we continue to bash each other up, and at this point BBC and CNN is having a field day by posting news that War has erupted in Malaysia and shows pictures of people having red dye all over them (from the Punjabi color powder used in Hol) and reports it as police brutality.It goes on to declaring that Malaysia has gone into a state of Emergency and that the military is staging a coup and that Big Foot has been seen around Putrajaya.By now the FRU has finally woke up and are starting to diffuse the situation by shooting water bombs.The mob turns on the  FRU as well, coz they think the Police are trying to baptize them as well.


Some Buddhists who have just finished their morning prayers and saunters over to see the commotion and their leader (usually a retired school teacher or bank manager) walks into the middle of the fray and chants in a serene voice "the Buddha's blessing be upon us all....." *Thonk!*( a stone hits him on the right head). But he continues "Peace, peace, conflict resolves nothing, it brings misery and pain..."  *Plunk!*( a piece of wood hits him on the forehead). And he goes on "Peace with oneself ... *Piang!*(Another object) "KNNCCB! Lin Peh you wanna fight , we fight la chao hai, people talk nicely lin peh you throw stick and stone at my head, lin peh think my head si lin peh metal ah, kanine" and so all the major races save the Sabahans and Sarawakians who are either busy harvesting 'padi bukit' or illegally harvested timber were involved in this.

Then suddenly, without ado, one by one in the fighting mobs, including the police mysteriously collapse and doze off into a sleep.After all have collapsed, from nearby trees, climbs a few Orang Asli, blowpipes in hand.

Orang Asli 1: Good shot my friend, I see the new sniperscope you ordered from Steyr served you well.I say, Mr Watson anak Temiang, what are these uncivilized people trying to do?

Orang Asli 2: I am uncertain of this erratic behavior of theirs, Mr Welton anak Jugo.Apparently they enjoy this kind of thing once in a while, they simply reject the notion of harmonious living with oneself and the environment as we do.How uncouth.

Orang Asli 1: Yes, they shun us because, we appear, well, half naked and still use blowpipes, and do not openly use high level English, or reveal our secret trade alliance of bulu memerang (squirrel fur) with China.

Orang Asli 2: Its a pity we cannot reveal ourselves to them fully, lest we be chased out of here and sent to Singapore.

Orang Asli 1: Oh, by the Spirits, curse the day I will go under Lee Kuan Yew.....Oh crap...They're about to wake, quick throw the lizard piss on them.That will wipe out their memory.

Orang Asli 2: Yes, and I need to hurry home. I have my sudoku to complete.Fortunately the Oracle saw this coming or it might devastate their tiny economy, and if China imposes sanctions on these morons, we can kiss our free trade zone  bye bye.Shh...they're waking, let's bugger off.

And as quickly and soundless as they came, off they went.


The End


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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

SMS Hoax-yeah Sure Hate the Catholics

Kit Siang once wrote a book- Time Bombs in Malaysia which I count among my
favourite political books.He touches many issues in the book and among other
things- he touches on race relations and how there will always be people
preaching to politics of racism and hate.The reason I bring this is up now,
is due to the fact that certain quarters just hate living in a peaceful
country.They just hate the fact that people love to love each other.They
hate the fact that there is not much seeds of discord to sow.So sow they
shall.And indeed that is what happened when some overzealous, yet stupid
jackass decided to write a nasty SMS accusing a Roman Catholic church of
baptizing Muslims.Which turned out untrue, of course.

What's wrong with you idiot (whoever started the rumours)?Will you only be
happy after all the peaceful people in this country are brutally and
violently murdered, all the 'sinful' activities- alcahol, casinos, lottery
numbers, are all wiped out and you can sit in the corner of your little
kampung hut with a torn attap roof and laugh your way to a near bankrupt
bank to put in your 'pure halal money' , untainted by sinful, pro American,
Jewish butt kissing Christians?I hope the police gets medieavel on your

There were 1000 Muslims outside and 1000 (I imagine)worried Catholics inside
the church.What are the odds that in both crowds, some idiot might have
thrown a stone , or accidentally nudged another dude and all hell broke
lose?Or in a hillarious twist, someone sneezes onto a fanatic parked outside
and the dude goes into a frenzy and accuses the Christians of baptizing
him?Then they will get what they've always wanted.World peace by banning the
use of salivated projectiles.

We appreciate and understand the delicate nature of the problem, but please
do appreciate the fact that the concept of 'aqidah' exists in other
religions as well, in Christianity or specifically Catholicism its called
Communion or Corpus Christi- The Body of Christ. We too feel hurt every time
some Catholic dude or dudette converts, but generally speaking, Catholics
tend to be less emotional and/or bothered about it, perhaps owing to the
delicate nature of things in Malaysia- so all I guess we are asking in
return in a small amount back of such sensitivity.Or perhaps we believe the
soul is yours to keep- so what you with if is really your own business. Or
perhaps we just are too not bothered and are too busy either saving the
environment, beached whales, lost souls or in my case spending my money yo
make Lim Goh Tong even richer.When was the last time any Catholic friend of
yours tried to preach to you?

Also I fail to understand this fear of proselytize.I believe the Truth is
out there, and every religion holds water.No one should fear any religion
especially not so in Malaysia, where Islam is the official religion of this
land, and where by extension to this, we have many Islamic programs on TV,
many educational programs available in mosques, schools, universities around
the country, where Islam is taught in school etc.And even the likes of
Mahaguru58 seems to be worried with this trend of people playing agent

Sure, I am certain I might get many comments like STFU you chauvinistic pig
of a Kafir, you have no idea what you're talking about ,Christian whore, go
read Surah Al-Kafirun ,you have no idea of the terrible fate awaiting you in
azab neraka.If your intention is to comment that in the column, then I have
just saved you the trouble.Peace.Speaking of comments do read all the way

But correct me if I am wrong, but the Prophet's defence of his people was
due to the fact that at that time Islam was in its infancy and
understandably he did not want to muddle the minds of the various Arab
tribes that embraced Islam- as they had much to learn, but in THIS day and
age, where the Quran has been debated extensively, researched extensively
and connections drawn from the Quran and scientific discoveries and what
not, why still this constant fear of Christians(or any other religion) for
that matter knocking at your door and selling you their religion? Either way
I am sure starting a riot in a place of worship is hardly a way to enter
Jannatul Firdaus( highest heaven) la.

Enough about sensitive topics,on another note, Syed , my travel buddy to
work just bought his Vios, and its really cool.I am now torn between buying
a Vios and buying a terrace double storey house I've been
eyeing.Seriously.Screw Kiyosaki man, if I keep up gymning for a few months
and drive a Vios at 23 (coz I will probably turn 23 by the time I decide on
which car to change to) I think that would do wonders to my self confidence
level LOL.

Optionally I can wait for something good to turn up la (one of my vendors
bought a Lancer 1.6 for about 60k with only 340 on the odometer- the
previous owner was migrating suddenly) since I am starting up my small
second hand car business thingie with my friend.Decisions, decisions?

So anyone got any opinions ah?

Another thing that cracked me up was this Anon dude/dudette returning (same
IP) and typing this on my Comments section of my earlier post

''Si me rogas, potes abire et tu ipse cacare. Semper in excremento, sole
profundum qui variat. Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam
suffodiant.Favor, Plenus stercoris es''

My Latin knowledge is really limited to Vespers , the Vulgate Rite and
canonical terms so I had to look it up in my Latin dictionary, long dusty
from underutilization and makes me wonder why I buy some stuff in the first
place - Basically it means "My opinion is , you are full of crap.Forever in
crap, only how deep.I hope your philosophy is spoilt by logic.You are full
of crap.

So I was wondering where this jabronie pieced togather this poorly grammared
rubbish, and Googled it, so I stumbled upon this

Please, you pathetic excuse of a cow.Wait I take that back- it would be an
insult to cows worldwide, IF you cannot think it up yourself, stop cutting
and pasting la.It makes you look like a fool.Baka.Yorou.

Search the Internet from any Web page with MSN Toolbar.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

The Raya That Was

This year I have been really blessed in the sense of getting a good job and building a strong rapport with my colleagues and bosses at work, with my friends outside , meeting many new ones and getting re-acquainted with old ones.I have for some time forgotten what it was like to belong, to be part of a community, of a team.Indeed I am grateful for the opportunity to be reminded of it.

And opportunity came in the form of an invitation from one of my bosses (the manager of our management team) to attend his open house celebration and help him out.Its the first time anyone has asked me to help out in a Hari Raya do, so the experience was a new one for me.And a good one.

it was the first time I potong ketupat, first time I belah lemang, (its so much easier to buy the siap potong one from Bazaar Ramadan) and lepaked at my bosses' place with my other colleagues and his family.Food was of course good, but more so the communal feeling that makes me grateful in a humble way, yet proud to be Malaysian.

Even when they knew I was Christian (its kinda obvious- I stuck out like a swollen toe as I did not perform solat with them apart from the fact I was wearing a '' T-shirt as opposed to Baju melayu like everyone else and had a golden cross hanging from my neck) they still treated me like part of the family.Contrasting of course the opinion of some anonymous commentors of late who thinks of me nothing more than a chauvinistic clueless clown who hates his religion.

And I am thankful that in this times where many are testy and wound up about issues like religion, there are those good ones who come along and remind you what its like to be human, to love and share and care.Sure there will always be morons in every group you meet but mostly its all good.

Stuck around till about six-ish then went off to buy some stuff for my workplace- power tools, equipment bags etc that kind of make me broke when I realize I can only get back my claims submission in a few weeks time (power drills and such are not cheap la) and panicked even more when I thought I had bought the wrong equipment (I thought the drill head could not be slotted with screwdriver heads)I was never happier to be wrong.Had to call my vendor to double, triple and quadriple confirm.I would probably have shot myself if I was wrong and could not claim the purchase.

On other notes,friend of mine celebrated her 23rd last week.Happy Birthday Aishah, sorry could not go clubbing with you.And congratulations Chua, if ou happen to read this on your wedding last week.Not forgetting Razman, the friend I went down to Johor for (his wedding)

Have a fulfilling week ahead all!


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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Response to an Anonymous Dude or Dudette

The following was posted in the Comments  of "Takaful Incident: Questions Arisen" post that I posted some time back.I feel it warrants a response as the writer actually missed the entire point of my post.BTW, Anon, you should be honoured- this is the first time I am responding at length to a comment.However I may perceive it to be.

"you are EXAGGERATING things which are NOT happening in Malaysia. Yeah, one person said something that you don't agree about, and it's meant to be PERSONAL and internal to the Muslims working at that place."

Response: The fact that he made it public makes it my problem. Can you not see that hatred and bigotry and a sense of moral superiority, whether public or private has the same adverse effect and would spell problems should it be left unchecked?It is not happening in Malaysia.When was the last time you lepaked with a Hindu whose temple's been torn down or a guy whose been forced to convert or some Orang Asli whose been paid to convert?Hmm, I must be confused.

See, problem with you Emmanuel, you cannot mind your own business. There are certain matters in Islam which are clearly for the discussion of Muslims only.


Response: Both My Daily Dread and my UPP Disagree blog is my little pieces of opinion.What about discussion about our faith?Who gives you the right to dicatate the way a Christian dresses, the height of a church, or which temple stays or goes?I am minding my own business,my friend.By discriminating me, you make it my business.Hmm, I guess I do not really bother about what you think- The Mufti of Perak, the National Fatwa Council and various Muslim leaders seemed to have proved us right that its not a major sin to wish someone Happy Deepavali.So thanks for your opinion,like your suggestion (for Muslims to talk only to Muslims about it)- go discuss it with them.

Let me give you an example; as a Muslim, I believe that all non-Muslims will go to hell. Yeap, even the saint Mother Theresa. Although she is by all means an extraordinary woman, but in the Quran it is stated that God did not create jinn and man but to worship God (Alone).

Response: But I do not believe any good Muslim( Gulab Rasul Khan etc) would go to hell.Call me a lousy Christian.I've been called anathemic, hypocritical and personally I do not care two fucks if you think I am going to heaven, hell or spend eternity cursed to roam Lorong Haji Taib and get harassed by transvestites so long as you do not shove your beliefs down my throat to the point it affects my life.Basically, yea everyone thinks only they will go to heaven and everyone else to hell, so whats the point in yelling it out apart from creating disharmony in a fragile environment?

But, when we talk about this, it's meant to be a personal and internal conversation among ourselves. Of course people like you disagree with it - who likes to be told that they'll be cast in hell because of their different faith?

Response: So don't tell me.That's my point.Keep your thoughts to yourself, your religion to your own.

Likewise, if the Takaful fella or any mufti or religious authority releases a statement saying that it is haram or bordering shirk (very grevious sin in Islam) to be wishing Hindu's (pagan's to us) their celebration and to offer welwishes is like supporting a celebration that is worshipping the pagan idols! You just lose a greeting from a fellow Muslim, and that fatwa is not even meant for you. So why get all worked up?

Response: Because I would respectfully submit that national unity should be preserved, and everyone else are already sacrificing elements of their religion for this.But that is not the point (neither am I remotely suggesting any Muslim sacrifice anything in their faith for the sake of anything).Because to me, he is not authorized to make blanket statements like that.If that statement would have come from like a Mufti or something, I would gladly accept it is apart of your religious obligation.Its just a person's view.Buddha once said- belief half of what you see and none of which you hear.

BTW, Saudi Arabia is not a poor country. Have you actually been to these places before you make assumptions about them Emmanuel? From my reading of your blog, you make so much assumptions about things that are not even true. You seem to me like a paranoid freak!

Response: Where on earth did I mention that SA is a poor country?Sure they're rich and reward their poor, starving Muslim brother countries in these times of crises by raising crude oil prices.How generously benovalent of them.But what do I, one of the clueless Ku'faar possibly know right?Is it fardu kifayah for Muslim countries to help each other or to trouble each other?

Who's making assumptions?I have been fortunate to vist four of the continents, having started travelling as a kid and grew a passion for it<unfortunately my paycheck has yet to hit 5 figures a month la> and been to two of the countries I mentioned.And I am looking forward to travel more, but wait ...there was a point in there somwhere.Maybe I am a paranoid freak.I am also pessmisitic, extremely so<Both my bosses and staff will agree with me wholeheartedly> But to me I am simply concerned about the direction this country is headed for, and whether the Wahabbi school of thought everyone seems to subscribe to nowadays is applicable to a more multiracial crowd.If you think I am the last person who does not have an inkling what I am talking about,am a chauvinistic racist Chinese 'pig' or are born of rich folks to have the gall to write about something I do not comprehend, you are nowhere further from the truth.Le'ts meet up, talk, and then pass judgement on me, OK?Not that your hating me would result in me becoming poorer, or lose IQ or grow warts on my face or become impotent...or anything....

Don't get all too jumpy at the wrong places Emmanuel.

Response: I don't jump into conclusionss. In Fact I hardly jump.I run a lot and occasionally juggle as a hobby but jumping is just to tedious for me.Peace out bro (or sis, or anything in between or outside the bounds of either)All I am asking is a question.Or is that a national offence now?Or a cardinal sin?Hardly venial.Or so I think, but I digress.So yeah, please know that I think you got me all wrong.And jumped right at me.

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