Friday, November 24, 2006

How to Stop Racial Extremists.

Just some random ideas on how to stop the propagation of silly narrow minded ideas of race based politics (especially during party general assemblies)

Other General Ass-emblies.

1.Get the other parties to wear traditional costumes.MCA could wear the kung fu suits (sam foos- I never got it.Sam Foo, literally translates to 'Bitter Soul' in Cantonese) instead of white shirts and MCA could wear a cool vesti complete with flower garlands.Show more skin people.Tatooes and pierced noses adds to the general vibe.

2.Insert traditional weapons with those costumes.I do not particularly know how the MCA delegates will carry in halberds or nunchucks, but imagine how cool will be to have this like army of people walking in to opera music wielding halberds?

3.MIC people could just obtain your local RM 15 parangs.Be careful not to hurt your um, egos when you slot em in.

4.As for multiracial parties like PPP or Gerakan, can just use like antique revolvers or something.

Nationwide Secret Plan

1.Should target all those who made like radically racial comments find out where they live etc.Get some limau kasturi (you don't have to spend for it, just go to your local mamak and ask for the ones they use in limau ais), grab some of your mum's kum kum (red powder used for prayers) or your little brother's water colour tube, put the red colouring on the limau, and leave in front of the dude/dudette's house.For extra effect, stick a joss stick inside the limau.

2.Chinese dissidents (as in dissed-residents :P ) can similarly put a white steamed chicken (bak cham gai) and stick a red candle somewhere near their house.Get a stone tablet and write something Chinese on it (doesn't matter what- it could even be the bak cham gai recipe in Chinese).The only thing these dudes probably know about Chinese culture is the pantang on number four, paint a big ass four on the chicken.Heck, it might look like a dead ayam sabung (fighting cock) but who cares.

2.At like 12pm nationwide, get a covert team of people to monitor these dudes.When those freaked out extreme jokers start moving around in the crowd, probably oblivious to the fake charms outside their houses, follow them to the lift or office or mamak or something.Sharp 12 pm, (sync your clocks) look them in the eye and murmur "Californication" real fast three times and for added effect blow some talcum powder (can be either baby powder or even Follow Me) in their face and before they know what happened walk really fast away, about ten steps away, look back, give them a sinister grin and dissapear into the crowd of concerned 'posse'.

P/S: Tongue in cheek people.Please do not try this at home, any risk of arrest, riots or beating up by either FRU and/or angry henchmen would be borne by the reader.

P/P/S: If you are reading this, yea I still like you.Its not a crush and yea, no matter how many girls you think are more suited to me, I decided 1.5 years ago on which type of routers I like and which particular model :P,Dearest readers thanks for your support in this um quest of mine.To the dude who posted the Japanese phrase in the last post ...PLease try some anal-gesic(bun/pun intended) cream for that pain.Please send my best to your

a)Gay partner
OR
b)Your girlfriend who seems to like using a strapon dildo on you.

Much love people.

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6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Komban hima desu ka? Watashi no chinko kata! Echi shite kudasai. Anata no ketsu wa kusa da oyobi ore wa shibakariki da.

9:54 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Anon= No my ass is not a grass field and I doubt you are a talking lawnmower.No I am not available tonight.Go play somewhere else.

11:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kuso, iku iku

1:51 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Dude,

This is NOT a Japn Porn Site.

10:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

emmanuel,

There are no 'racial' extremists or racism in Malaysia. There is rather cultural bigotry. Malay/Muslim bigots refuse (1) to accept Mandarin, Tamil, English and Bahasa Melayu as the 4 national languages (2) to accept freedom for Muslims to leave Islam

p/s Ask any American, they will tell you 'race' means skin color and there are only 4 races: Black, White, Yellow and Brown. Malay, Chinese, Tamil and English are not 'races' but cultures.

p/p/s The form of discrimination here is Muslim bigotry that has plagued us for 49 years.

10:54 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Kuso,Iku (I am not sure you KNOW what your nick means, its highly porn-y)
-Yea I've read your quote somewhere I think it was FFI.And I agree except here in Malaysia if you at it contextually,we cannot classify people under Caucasian, Aryan, Oriental or Middle Eastern(Jesse-Stock).If you do that Indians and Malays would be of the same stock and that would be confusing. (esp in regards to who gets to join UMNO)

1:01 PM  

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