Friday, December 15, 2006

What I never wanted to be

After some chats with my dear girl,I realized that growing up I had always wanted to be this somebody la at one point or another.I went through like a plethora of 'ambitions' before ending up in a career path chosen by like 2/3rds of Malaysian students... Information Technology.

More like 5/6th of all Malaysian students la.Yea yea, Zaman Teknologi Maklumat my brown behind.

And most of the 'IT' jobs you get at Cyberjaya and Technology park would not require any form of IT professional training whatsoever, any dud would be able to answer phone calls and go 'Hello, International Global Call Center Masquarading as a Technical Specialist.My name is , but it does not matter since you're going to forget me in ten minutes anyway.If you would like to know, I hold a Masters in IT, but my job could easily be taken over by a PMR graduate,a talking dog, or a phone recorded message.

I've been job hunting before, and that was 2 years bacl, and from what I heard the market's only got tougher.Back then, job fairs would be like 80% call center jobs (HDPM-HSBC's call center) is like the biggest unemployed grad farm I've seen in my life.The Government should award Datukship to the white guy running the place.Out of the 20% remainding jobs, 5% would be programming jobs that requires the applicant to be proficient in 30 coding languages, the ability to work 22 hours a day and the patience to do it all under a salary of 1.5k per month.

5% more would be jobs that require 3 or more years experience but somehow opened a booth in a college job fair.And usually they will recommend you the call center jobs as you lack experience (they have call center openings too)

2% would be for ultra hunted positions, with 1 million applicants going for like 5 posts.And then they will make you go for blood test, eye test, IQ test, EQ test, shooting test, lie detector test, until at the end of the day you will be convinced that you are being interrogated by the CIA and your dad is related to Osama Bin Laden, and confused, you decide to join the call center to avoid detection.

Only the remaining 8% would be actual IT jobs whose advertisers are actually looking for college grads or something and willing to give you a chance la.So those lucky few who are not succumbed to the Dark Side of the earlier categories would be those who chose a Jedi Way LOL.

But back to the topic, I had always at some point of my life some burning ambition la.

Among things I wanted to be when I grew up apart from the mandatory 'doctor,lawyer,engineer,architect' (both real ambitions and fictional figments from childhood), in no particular order

-A Jesuit priest
-A Jedi librarian(OK laugh laugh...but I thought it was cool to know all the stuff in the galaxy and still kick ass with a lightsaber)
-A forensic anthropologist
-A paedatric neurologist (I remember reading somewhere they're rare)
-A military strategist
-A pilot
-A marine biologist (especially when I got fixated on deep water creatures for a season) ...yea Pelf, laugh la
-A Capuchin monk
-Electronics guru specializing in complex PCBs.
-Poisons expert (ninja movies)
-A horticulturist

And numerous others.There also things I did not want to be....but sometimes my friends assume I do due to well, alcahol influencing their thoughts or my voice or something similar.

-A towel model
-A professional clown
-A professional sushi eater (the guys who has to stuff up the last pieces of sushi from a karaoke night)
-Same as above for ice cream or anything else.
-A professional singer
-A prophet
-Jesus Christ Superstar
-A black Jesus.
- A cross between a red beetroot and a guy who thinks he's a beluga whale.
-An economist
- A UN envoy(when I suddenly launch into a volley of international goings on jibber jabber like I actually know what I am talking about- usually a few glasses of alcohol does that to people.)

well, Yap, at least I do not do an Egyptian dance or the Numa Numa la.So there.My two and a half sen worth.And I know you're reading as well (you know who you are la Ai Shiteru to you too.)

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Blogger pelf said...

What makes you think that I will laugh at you?!! Hmmph!

9:13 AM  
Blogger Lizzam said...

5% would be programming jobs that requires the applicant to be proficient in 30 coding languages, the ability to work 22 hours a day and the patience to do it all under a salary of 1.5k per month.

i'm in the 5 percent group?woot!
better than being the 99th percentile for Mensa.

Yes, you can pay my aji with that 3G phone of urs...

8:59 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Pelf- LOL, yela I am not your average tree hugger la sis.BTW thanks for the Christmas card! :)

Lizzam-No la not meaning you bro.You dah level interview programmer lain kira tinggi la tu.I mean those upstart companies started by fresh grads themselves...

11:13 PM  
Blogger Black said...

Yes Malaysia Boleh.... the IT Certificate, Deploma and Degree Mill capital of asia ;)) lol

11:53 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Black- LOL, yea our country has this tendency of spending taxpayer's money to produce tonnes of graduates, then using more of their money to create jobs for this grads.That's why the government delivery system is so good.We have one person to photocopy, one to staple, one to check the documents etc etc

12:27 AM  
Blogger Collin Michael Nunis said...

Hahahaha shit man, this is seriously funny but on a serious note, its an eye-opener. I wonder what will happen to people like me. Sigh...

12:30 AM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Colin- Don worry man, you still young....When you get old, which is a few months time, then worry.LOL.

5:46 AM  

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