Last Two Days in my Current Job

Can't say I'm happy, can't say I'm sad either.
Its been a good two years, a further two in my previous posting, also in the same account.I've learnt so much from the seniors here, its quite disheartening to see me go.But then again, all good things must come to an end.

Well, so closes one chapter of my 25 year life, and in a couple of days, a new one opens.Greener pastures or a barren desert?Yet to be seen, but for now I guess change is something I could use.

If I've learnt anything at all in this company, it would be that sometimes, in life, if opportunity refuses to knock, we just have to build our own door and force her hand.

Things the Malaysian Government needs to learn

They need to learn this, and quickly too, or risk being sucked into oblivion, to be forever forgotten along with pogo sticks and the Spice Girls.Well, at least the Spice Girls gave us hot music videos.

1)The will of the people cannot be denied.No court, no judge, no royalty, no political mastermind or all powerful overlord will be able to deny the will of the people. They can attempt to suppress it, try to contain it and move to quell any uprising, but they must learn that true dissent is not seen on the streets, in brochures, meetings, state or illegal assemblies. True dissent is just a tiny seed planted in the minds and hearts of the people and if ill-attended to, the seeds can and will be a bramble wall that impedes every single step of those who would try to drive a wedge between the masses and their wishes.

2)The people are not stupid. In fact, they are in many case even more well informed than the Ministry of Information. Bureaucracy means that bloggers and citizen journalists need not seek 8 approvals prior to publishing their news and views like their MSM counterparts.

3) The Opposition is no longer a weak punching bag. They are the legitimate state governments for five states out of thirteen and are a few seats shy of controlling half of the federal Parliament. This means foreign countries, investors, news agencies,people and benefactors take them far more seriously now. This also means more political and financial clout.

4) Angry people will never be silenced. Threaten them, arrest their lawyers, throw water cannons at them, in shake your giant oversized ego at them,sponsor 'rival' NGOs, they don't care. They will keep on talking the walk and walking the talk, and more people will join the march.

5) Patience is an exhaustive resource.Everyone has a limit.Gone are the ghosts of May 13, the days where people bought half truths and whole lies propagated by the MSM. By pushing the people's envelope of patience, by creating a false sense of fear, telling lie after lie, and suppressing people's desires, they are merely thinning this very limited, near depleted resource.

6)Struggles not based on just values always fails.Forming government to serve and forming government to be served are two very different things. People are no longer oblivious to this, they can no longer afford to be. While many would tolerate you licking your hands when handling the honey, proclaiming virtue while drinking from the honeypot now will be spat upon.

7)Might is no longer always right.Publicly flouting the rule of law and democracy sickens the executed and eventually, the executors.Even if you keep sending your pet Doberman to keep mauling helpless neighbourhood cats, one day the Doberman will turn on you, even if its not because of mercy, logic, or fear of God, but out of boredom and mental torture.


Learn it quick, or don't. Better the latter, so PR can have a shot at ruling :)


8)You reap what you sow.Sow love, get love.Sow hate, get hate.Pepper spray an SA, be prepared to get pepper sprayed back.

9)Vengea

Bandung through the eyes of a Malaysian Part 1

There is a saying in Bandung.

"Paginya jalan berlubang-lubang,
Malamnya lubangnya berjalan-jalan"

As crass,uncouth and perverse as it sounds, it aptly, succintly describes what the 'City' of Bandung is all about.She is called the Paris of Java by the Dutch.But its my firm belief that drawing a parallel to Paris in the same line as Bandung is as accurate as drawing a parallel to Vegas with Genting Highlands.

It pales in comparison.Heck, its colourless in comparison.Nevertheless, by Indonesian standards, its a pretty nice town.A brief low-down , down below on my trip

Author's note: Parts, or rather, chunks of the trip has been omitted for fear of spousal reprisal, marital strife, wife attack,girlfriend hysteria, chick's hissy fit and other similar fears of my friends' significant others reading this blog.Such parts may or may not involve conversing, engaging or other varying degrees of mostly consensual, sometimes one sided affection between consenting adults that are above the consenting age.Wives, in reading, remember, I am the youngest in this trip and by extension of that, the most innocent :P

Day 1, 2oth April

Sat in flight to a very interesting Indonesian young girl.Discuss everything from Mie Kocok, the weather, Russell's teapot, Rolls Royce vs Pratt and Whitney and Ibn Rushd.Exchanged phone numbers and promised to get in touch.Touchdown at Hussein Sastranegara airport about 3pm local time. Rush to airport before realizing all money on me is in Ringgit. Count Indonesian coins, which is just enough for a Bintang. Down a 'welcome drink', wait for evil friends that left us behind to change their money first.After one and a half hours of waiting, the company arrives, and we head over 100m from our hotel to have Nasi Padang.

To the uninitiated, Nasi Padang is a showroom display of food items that looked like cooked versions of what we see in Fear Factor.Hey, if I can survive head cheese, buffalo knee cap and fish eyeballs, anything will do :). Abang Megat was piling up stuff onto my plate. There was one item , long and oblongish looking with a squirmy filling, that I asssumed was squid.

Me: Om, ini sotong ya?
Owner: Tidak, itu namanya sapi punya ...
Me: Stop pak, nggak usah dibicara!

So there, if I tagged team with Pravin, I could probably win Fear Factor Malaysia.That is of course as long as no Pedalaman Africans were competing against me la.

The night was pretty quiet, we head off to Braga Walk and walk around looking for clubsto hangout at.Found a few good ones, Caesar's Palace and Classic Rock was quite good. There was this unnamed bar we entered playing good music where many Singaporeans and Malaysians were hanging out.

Tired from the walking, we have an early night in

More to come..

Definitions of Moments

"WWW Moment"- The second between the time after you type "www." on your browser window and the time you take to figure out which site you want to visit next to waste your company's time.

"WTF Moment"- (1) The daze you find yourself in when you cannot decide what to respond when you are asked by your other half if she looks better in champagne,mocha or chardonnay.

(2) The look in your face when a bicycle overtakes your car.

"UN Moment" - The temporary confusion stemming from being in the same project meeting as an Indian program team lead, a Chinese systems team lead, a German engineering team lead, an American financier, A Japanese joint partner, a Malay CEO, a Chinese contractor and an Indonesian cleaner.

"Tak Nak Moment"- The second of hesitation experienced before lighting a cigarette where images of posters you drew as a child against smoking come flashing past your brain.

"Chua Soi Lek Moment" - The feeling you're being spied upon when you undo your fly in a public toilet.

"Smoke Gets In Your Eyes Moment"- The few seconds in a street demo where you get to watch a smoke bomb right before it drops on a street in front of you and releases tear inducing chemicals.

"Nazri Moment"- A burst of anger you suddenly feel for no particular reason to suddenly get up and insult another person's ethnicity.

DOTA: Samy Vellu

Abilities-Maika(Leak gold); Barisan (+HP to Pakatan);TalkCock(minus enemy life, reduce hearing) and Build Tollgate (erects a Tollgate, similar to Defense Tower)

Porn: Malaysian Style

I think I am slowly finding myself again.I decidedly decided to make a deciding decision that from today on, I am not going to let failure or success get to me.I am committed to make myself and people I care about, happy.

Talking to Hizzad this morning, the topic turned to pornography. I wondered why Malaysia does not have our own porn industry.I mean all our neighbours have it, right? All we have are like lame duck ass productions courtesy of some hidden cameras, overadventurous flight attendants, and of course, 'political assasination' porn.

We should have our own 3 star soft porn industry.What better way to promote Malaysia then through sex, right?First we begin with a brief examination of our foreign rivals.Here is a breakdown of their typical porn.Oh and by the way, err, I do not watch nor condone the watching of porn.This is, err, purely educational information obtained from reliable third party sources that have since repented from their ways and converted to become Baptists.

Indonesian porn: Girl bathes for first 45 minutes of movie.Last ten minutes crams an oral session, a bang and slam shut.Oh and you cannot see her face.

Chinese porn: PRC ambassador who looks like a taugeh seller will be doing a fat tatooed dong that looks like a VCD seller.Recommended only for people who have a thing for taugeh sellers or VCD sellers.

Taiwanese porn: 90% of it features Shu Qi wearing a bathing suit, a night suit and a birthday suit prancing around like a nymph around beaches, hills and other scenic value.Looks more like a work of art than softcore

French porn: People buy this for the French conversation that no one really understands but sounds really slutty.

Thai porn: 30 year old Thai thats *supposed* to be a student is 'seduced' by two ugly Americans.Repeat process three times.

American porn: Take a butcherhouse.Add truckers/firemen/nurses/police officers/teachers.Add hookers.Add videography.You get this.

Canadian porn: Take American porn.Add British slang.You get this.

Japanese porn: Take one power packed gorgeous Japanese chick.Add 20 fat men with small dicks. Add a whole load of screaming.Add a whole load of slapping kicking that could convince you that you were watching a documentary about marital violence.

So how would Malaysian porn be like?

I would like to think it would be a Rempit- inspired one. I would like to see sex at 180km/h

Then and only that would I concede that Malaysia indeed Boleh !

At Crossroads

Warning: This is a rant post.


I am at the point of crossroads in my life.Many, many crossroads.In fact I think I am at a highway interchange.

First and foremost I am thankful to God almighty for everything He's given me the last year.A great new job, very real and wonderful friends, a wonderful relationship that went 'boom' in my face.And now this.

This crossroads.Quite a few of them.

Maybe its His way to say slow down you jackass.Maybe its his way to repay me for all my dosa-dosa besar.But whatever it is, decisions are not an easy thing to make.

I went out with an old friend last night.She's nice and though we've known each other for a while, for reasons mysterious, I've never actually hung out with her.She's fun to be around with, and funny too.It was ackward for me at first, a bit, but a nice ackward.It was the first time I'd hung out with anyone of the opposite gender apart from no 2, without having people cockstaring me as the 'Malay terrorist cradle robber' trying to steal the 'poor Ipoh mari girl' from her hardworking chicken rice selling, BSN saving, attap house living parents.

Then there was this morning.It dawned on me.Like using a hack on your Bit Torrent, I got this rush.I realized, "Damn it, I am here.I made something of myself.I deserve something in return"

I realized I've been starving myself emotionally, financially and in many other ways.Maybe I'm still punishing myself.For the breakups, the breakdowns, the fuckups, the fuckdowns.I dunno.But this morning I was royally depressed.

I feel like I've been running this long run for so long, without end, only to finish last.And to find every single person who beat me there sitting down and sipping beer every 100m.

And that's a royally fucked up feeling.

True Colours Shown Inside and Outside Parliament

YB Karpal Singh may be disabled, but he is perhaps on of the most able person in Malaysia intellectually.He is also one of the more principled MPs and definitely one known to stand his ground despite the odds.His lesser detractors, on the other hand seem to suffer from irrepairable brain damage from years of brainwashing, ego-stroking and an implanted sense of false moral superiority.This, coupled with a skewed 'tunnel vision' syndrome that enables them to see what the choose to see, 'i-Pod syndrome' hear what they choose to hear and 'RedBox Karaoke' syndrome that leads them to believe people actually enjoy that howling noise produced when they move their lips.

Yes, YB Karpal 'showed his colours' in Parliament today.He showed us he does not flinch, he does not waver, and that he argues for far, far more than raising your right hand during oathtaking time. For those tunnel-vision sufferers, "Singh is Kinng" is a fictional, highly entertaining, bhangra charged Hindi movie which marries James Bond to Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.YB Mukhriz, will due respect, please go to the movies more.Likening the usage of that term to an insult to the King is an insult to insults itself.

Why stop there?Why not condemn the usage of the 'Octopussy' for insulting , er, Octopuses?If Singh is Kinng is insulting, what about the King and I? For all its worth, I really don't know what possessed YB Karpal from proclaiming that movie title of all the movies.For movie-themed-jab-trading, I would've preferred any of the following- 'Jackass', 'Knocked Up', 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang', 'Whale Rider', 'You Got Served', 'She's The Man','The Importance of Being Ernest' ,'Imaginary Heroes',,'The Benchwarmers' or many, many other quality titles that I could choose from.

Today, Malaysia witnessed two sides of politics, the way I look at it.On one hand we have the upside, the honourable politicians whose voice resounds our own, and who are willing to put aside their differences to achieve a common goal. For a MP as senior as Karpal to acknowledge Datuk Seri Anwar as Pakatan's leader demonstrates a great deal of humility, and simply denotes Datuk Seri Anwar is doing something right.

On the other side of the spectrum, we witness the 'other' side of politics. Scruffling individuals trying to score political cheapshots by intimidating a defenseless, bodyguardless MP whose only crime seemed to be exercising his democratic right as an MP to speak in Parliament.Not surprisingly,the immediate respondents to the issue, among the 14 Barisan components came not from one party, also one particular wing of the party, furthermore 2 of the 3 runners for the no 1 spot in that particular wing.Coincidence or potshot?I digress.

I cannot but help wonder,if the sanctity of the Parliament cannot be safeguarded against blatant displays of thuggery, what hope is there for the survival of the already narrowing democratic crawlspace?

Singh help us all.

In Defense of Eli

Who died and appointed Khir Toyo as Selangor's moral guardian?She should resigns says Captain Botox.

Look into your own backyard,Dato'.

Those commenting on the issue shamelessly speaking on morality probably are the very same bastards who fuck shemales in Pattaya.

Never mind their personal lives, because personal sex life is just what it is, personal.Its amazing to see Wanita MCA do the right thing for once.Its sad to see so many judging the poor YB.

How many of us have at one point of time trusted someone who ended up misplacing the trust?

How many times have one of us slept shirtless?

How many of us can honestly say we are so holy we have not seen a shirtless girl or a lady in panties?

Show me one such person who is not a priest, and I'll show you a homosexual starfish.

People should stop judging Eli, coz really who the fuck are we to judge her?

No one.

Why the Different Yardstick?

Quod licet iovi non licet bovi- Why the Different Yardstick?

The courts uphold a person’s right to association vehemently, even to the point of defending party hopping, yet another equally important right, the right to assemble is not defended with the same fervor. Quod licet iovi non licet bovi?


The enforcement agencies gives a higher priority to be minding what religious communities and political parties write in their own internal publications, occasionally flexing their muscles to these people who the boss is, yet does not seem perturbed with rampant misreporting, racially provocative material in some papers, or tabloid articles that make up imaginary stories about non-existent religious figures in Christianity, Hinduism and sometimes even Islam itself. Quod licet iovi non licet bovi?


When the Opposition and NGOs organize rallies, or in governmentspeak- “Illegal Assemblies”, the police are there to arrest them, throw them into ISA, and as if throwing the book at them is not good enough, sometimes other objects are thrown at them as well, including batons, fists, police shields, tear gas and water cannons. However when the Government organizes “Peaceful Demonstrations”, the police are there to escort them and if possible, they would be carrying their banners and distributing mineral waters to tired UMNO speakers. Quod licet iovi non licet bovi?


When an international rating , like the THES or the Democracy index rates us higher, which is not that high anyway, everyone jumps and praises our effective government policies that got us there.But as soon as we drop or when anyone condemns us, we dismiss such ratings as inaccurate, flawed and done with mala fide. Quod licet iovi non licet bovi?


Murderers, racists and slanderers are permitted to walk in the aisles of power while freedom fighters in democratic pursuant are painted as criminals and terrorists and treated as such. The Parliamentarian from the Ruling front gets escorted to functions and the Parliamentarian from the Opposition gets escorted to Kamunting. Quod licet iovi non licet bovi?

Quod licet iovi non licet bovi? Auri sacra fames!



* The cursed love for Gold.