Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I Still Do Not Understand Exotic Food

There are a whole other bunch of food stuff that the longer I think about it, the less sense it makes to me.Kind of like trying to make head or tail out of a Yasmin Ahmad advertistment
The Japs ,they keep it simple.

Catch a writhing , mercury infested fish from a highly polluted ocean contaminated with flesh eating bacteria , stuff it, roll and and cut them into cute little pieces which they than gobble down with concentrated black sodium(soy sauce) and a horrid, hot smelly greenish paste that destroys the receptors of your tongue and impairs your judgment.Those who think I am exxegerating about the judgment effect, think about this- this is a country that decided it was a good idea to cycle around and invade half the world.This is the country that gave us the karaoke(where people make fools not only of themselves,but of each other!), pachinko(a highly um, manly game where people viciously attack pinball machines), at the same time making the cute mouthless,big eyed cartoon characters that can shoot fireballs while they fart.

But not us, no, we want to eat high class food.Take lobster for instance.Its basically a overgrown, mutated prawn with a hard shell.People pay by the kilo/pound and because of that huge armour they carry around, you are essentially paying for a shell.And you can't it even take it home from dinner!A freaking shell cost you half your salary wei!!Well, at least its meat la.Caviar on the other hand is basically baby fish.Its eggs.Its made from fish eggs and salt.The only thing that is probably rare in this case is the male fish sperm la.If you ask me, just grab the first ikan todak you can find in the ocean and give it a good blowjob la.More worth it.At least you would have made a happy fish.And you can write and tell SPCA and maybe they might give you a 'Pet Lover Of The Year" award.Hmm..."Man molests fish"-That would make a great headline don't you think?

But some people go...no caviar, its the aroma....

People...what aroma....Does a chicken egg that recently got laid have any aroma to it ah?Even if it does, throw it into the sea for a couple of hours and the only aroma you get is bau lumpur.If you're paying for the taste- here's a suggestion.Go to your kitchen and put a spoonful of salt into your mouth.Its a much cheaper alternative to express hypertension.


Sigh....whatever happened to a time where grazing plants and herding fowl was all there was to food?Well the rest is set for tonight, so meanwhile, Itadetkimas!

12 Comments:

Anonymous Naruto said...

AHhhh.....atleast my Ramen are not infested with animal products. ITADAKIMASSSSS....

10:32 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Your ramen is infested with "Chasu" which is basically JE infested pork that is soaked in sirap limau.

4:55 AM  
Anonymous Naruto said...

Its just nice to power up the Kyuubi. After all it's my way of the ninja. Here i come....(followed by Naruto power up music)

12:45 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

LMAO

ya yathe template again...

5:13 PM  
Anonymous Ustaz Al-Ibni said...

Happy EID Mubarak. Pada masa ini, makanlah makanan yang halal dipermisikan oleh SIRIM/PAS/JAIS/JPS.

10:28 AM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

amin.

6:40 PM  
Blogger Winn said...

HAHAHA. what you said abt lobster's so true.....

3:16 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Lobsters are probably the worlds ugliest crustaceans la winn, and yet we look at them adoringly,sigh....

3:38 PM  
Blogger Butterflyn said...

it's clear that i cannot belanja u to japanese restaurant eyh?

9:58 AM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

can la just make sure u bring a lot of hydrogen peroxide....

1:04 AM  
Blogger Butterflyn said...

isnt that thing for hair bleaching? what does it has to do with sushi?

11:10 AM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

so i can kill myself after eating mercury and lead in a cute pulut wrap.

2:12 PM  

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