Sunday, October 02, 2005

The Week I Turned Evil



What I am talking about.I was born sarcastic and/or evil.Its a personal trait, like being brown and having eyes.Well, either way, somehow, somewhere this week's edition of Cosmic Powers decided to align the planets to make me more sarcastic than usual.Thats hard to imagine, almost like Al Capone being more cool, or the Hittites being more tribal.Well,Ai-Leen called me pure evil after I told her about some of the stuff that transpired the week before, hence the title of the post.Thanks Ai-Leen, I was running out of titles anyway.Heh.

It opened with someone known as The Ex Girlfriend MSN-ing me.It was deliciously funny as I layaned this girl who dumped me like a hot potato(probably coz i was more of a spud than a stud) with as much love as Batman has for that short guy who looks like a flightless,hairless bird.
It amazes me at this point how much contempt one can muster, albeit in his mind for an innnocent someone who is trying her level best to be civil towards him.(stuff in brackets is stuff I thought up in my mind while talking to her)
Well X if you are reading this, its just meant to be a joke la rite, so kindly hold on to that Molokov cocktail for now.

X: Harlo...
The Dropped Potato:Hi (Well if it isn't the Heartbreak Queen)
X:How are you doing?
The Dropped Potato:Fine(I'm doing great.I hope you're doing really bad)
X:How is work?
The Dropped Potato:Not too bad la(Thats an understatement...i am peachy!great!I rock). How is your work?
X:Oh fine...I left my last job

[[At this point yours truly hurriedly checked out to friendster to verify what he thought]]

The Dropped Potato: Yea, I heard you became a headhunter.Where in Sarawak?(Oops, sometimes sarcasm leaks out)
X:'nudges' me.
X:No la, in KL
The Dropped Potato::KL is a BIG place
The Dropped Potato:What happened to Company X?[note: which I thought she worked for]
X:No la, I never worked there?
The Dropped Potato:Why did you quit your previous job?(I know, coz God smacked you in the ass for dumping me and your boss was continously harassing you due to low productivity and
kelembapan maksima rite??)
X:Wanted a change in environment(What your last office didn't have enough plants to produce oxygen for you?)
The Dropped Potato:Ic...ic(No, actually I do not.)
X:Nudges me again(WTF?What do I look like, a body bag?)
The Dropped Potato:I heard some other girls also did not want to do anything IT related.
X:Yea, dunno why(Oh, but I think I do.......)
The Dropped Potato:So headhunt me lar LOL(That has gotta be the lamest thing I said to anyone all day)
X:Well, we only deal with middle management, so come find me after 5 years or so la.
The Dropped Potato:I AM in middle management, I think in 5 years time you'll have to find me a job more high up la.(There leaks the sarcasm again!)

I shall truncate the conversation here, for the following details were a little too sarcastic for public viewing la :P

Two other funny things happened this week, both has a touch in religion.Firstly this morning in church.Now I don't know if you know how Catholics pray la, but there's thing called the opening hymn la where the commentator(prayer leader for my Protestant friends who are confused now, and the loosest translation I can figure for Muslims is Bilal la.Nawruz, I have no idea how Bahai brothers pray, you gotta tell me how someday).So anyway, the overhead projecter or something jammed la and so it was something like this

Commentator:Let us arise and sing the hymn (name)...
Silence for abt 7 minutes as we all looked at each other, utterly confused where no music came on, no one started singing and we were all looking at each other and behind, to an equally lost priest who had the patience of probably Jesus himself.If I would have been a priest(pause, laugh, continue) I would've yelled or started singing to myself while walking to the front.

Now the second incident was in training to learn about about vessels (ships) and planning a vessel where the trainer, who thought I was a Muslim (I dunno why in Malaysia people tend to associate the colour brown with Islam) goes

* To understand this joke, you got to know all week long, to almost every question, the correct answer has been to this point, Vessel Planners

T: Bila hari kiamat, Allah SWT akan soal siapa dulu di muka penghakiman?
Me(totally full,totally lost after lunch and blur from overdose of information from a day of training): Vessel Planners?

The trainer is the nicest guy here and one of the most knowledgeable I've met and he blinked.Then my Muslim fellow trainers repeated after me...Vessel planners, somehow got it as a joke and laughed.Me, I was still trying to understand the question.

Well thats all for now,I'm off to sleep again.
o.O

10 Comments:

Blogger mistyeiz said...

OMG!!! 7 mins??? aiyooo...wat happened after that lar??

i know man, there was this one time, right after our father, we have to continue with, 'the kingdom n the power...etc etc', right? but this time EVERYONE quiet. dunno why n father was like looking around n wondering why all suddenly quiet. really like lost liddat, like totally jam!! hahahaha!!! LOL!! OMG....damn funny wei!!!

7:17 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

yea and the kingdom the power and the glory is yours now and forever.
i guess the priest lost time in the "forever" part.

5:42 AM  
Anonymous Bishop Murphy said...

Haloo....i should be therelah and praise the priest.

7:31 AM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

murphy.com?

you sure thats not some porn site ah wei?

5:18 AM  
Blogger mistyeiz said...

cilaka! gave me a shock only lar....cis bedebah!! =P

10:25 AM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

haha who ask u so easy get shocked?
if a tikus run in front how?or worse still, a tikus run in front and show u the finger laugh and scurry away(like what happened in a dream of mine) :P

10:35 AM  
Blogger nawooz said...

we, Baha'is just sit and pray dude. nothing much different.

11:14 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Rite, Nawooz.People often get confused about my religious affliation.Sometimes 'people' include me.

7:23 AM  
Anonymous yvy said...

wah, if tikus run in front of me, run after it, catch n bbq!!

hahaha!!

if show me finger, run after it, catch it n keep as pet for those special moments when i'm pissed n dun wanna show the finger, i get mr. rat to do it for me. :D

*in my dreamsla!! if really i see a tikus, i'll most probably just jam up lar. no squealing or screaming ~ i dunno how to so i just jam n stay frozen for a bit or until it runs away.* =P

9:17 AM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

HAHAA

you and half of the girls la...
its the same reaction a guy gives when asked to go to the lingerie section in a supermarket.Unless that hot semi undressed Audrey or Wacoal model happens to be walking around.In a semi state of undress.

10:29 PM  

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