Saturday, September 03, 2005

Sunway Lagoon and Independence.

Disclaimer: This is two posts in one.I did not spend Merdeka flashing my spare donut for tourists to see.

Last Sunday, the Four Parias and I went to Sunway Lagoon with one of our rare Malay friend, Hizzad.Here are a few things I've learnt from my first visit there.

-Tourists leave their slippers, bathing towels and wallets lying around everywhere and expect it to be there when they return.When its not, they whine while in queue and stop everyone else from using the rides.

-Only in Malaysia can you find (hopefully) a tourist, covered from head to toe in traditional Mideastern garb complete with what looks like a loose samurai-like face cover, pass a bottle to her teenage daughter who is covered in a skimpy bikini, showing off her Mideastern midriff.

-The two tigers in Sunway Lagoon have four zoologically known positions-catwalk,sleep,eat and yawn.

-Malaysians will complain to pay 10 cents more for a roti canai, 20 cents more for a teh tarik, 2 sen more per liter of petrol, but will happily pay 7 bucks for a Burger Ramli.

-Mascots live a miserable existence.They are always smiling.Even if you slug them, they will be smiling.If a 'mascot sidekick' (that btw lives an even sadder existence by playing second fiddle to an already pitiful being) informs the mascot that his girlfriend is in a coma and might die, the bloody duck in underwear of Sunway would still be smiling.I remember a time when I was 13 years old and visited England's Drayton Manor amusement park- I stepped on the mascot "Rory the lion" ' s paws.And it was still smiling.These guys should have a union to wipe the smile of their faces

And so passed Sunday.On Merdeka eve I spent again the evening with the Four Animals.It was sad, really.The clubs at Hartamas was so damnfull you would open the doors just to see a lot of black male bums wiggling.If and when drunk, doctor in training, biotechnologists, mechanical engineer and so called exec are all reduced to the same level of idiocy, lunacy and cheapskateness to the point that I think that all problems of the world can be solved through alcaholism.

I mean seriously- consider it.If everyone were drunk, there would be no war,no terrorism, no racism and no AP issue.We would all be equals- equally loud, equally slurred and we would even have similar blood content i.e. 40% blood , 60% alcahol.I sincerely believe if we all are drunk while our next mutation, rare blood type shortage could be overcome as all of us would be type 'Johnie Walker'.The rarities would be those suffering from Jack Daniels Syndrome or beerossemia.Those who don't drink and get infused with blood would just simply be known as hydromaniacs and we would wage civil war against them.

Happy Merdeka.


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