Friday, September 23, 2005

The Typical Malaysian Professional

Having very recently joined the (corporate) working world,I've compiled a simple list of what I think of the Malaysian middle to upper middle working class.And I am generalizing here, so if you're one of the 'Neos of the System' do not read further than this, pat yourself in the back and go play with your Bonzi Buddy.

The typical Malaysian Corporate/Exec

-Swims knee deep in loans and debts

-Drives a car he/she cannot afford, but sincerely believes he/she can afford it.Most probably a Waja/Vios/City

-Has more gadgets than the average CIA agent

-Has read a few poorly written, 'happy' self help books on finance and sincerely believes they know more than economic experts and that making it to the top is a breeze.Probably by repeating to yourself daily "I am good, I am great,I am good,I am great.Amen"

-Also believes they are greater than others because they sell MLM,Insurance or IDD cards.

-Has 4 or more ATM cards

-Has at least 3 credit cards.Sticking out of their wallet

-Each of the ATM cards has access to a nest egg fund of about Rm 200

-Each of the credit cards have a credit limit of Rm 1,000

-Will repeat the story of the time they ate at (insert a bloody expensive place name here ) a few years on, to anyone who will listen.By the time you hear it, the restaurant has probably changed management.

-When prompted, will increase salary by 2 times, number of subordinates by 3,benefits a few times fold and job complexity depending on person asking.

Signing off for now.If you are wondering at the pissy vibe with this post, its coz I was summoned to a nun's place to teach them how to use the Net.Against my Unholy will.Summoned, you know as in I was a magical genie ever ready to abide and serve.

God save my soul.


Blogger Din said...

hahah, almost if according to myself;

-Walks ankle deep in loans and debts

-Drives a car ... Iswara Aeroback

-Has more gadgets than the average CIA agent : phone, PDA, pager, instant chop.

- Never wasted money buying those crappy books.

- I hate those who sell MLM, Insurance and sstuff...

-Has just 1 ATM.

-Has just 1 credit card

- definately more than rm 200 in saving account

-credit card limit 6k

- hate stories, hangs out just eating and listens to such peopel telling bout their stories

-When prompted, will never tell salary, number of subordinates is exact, benefits are lower and job complexity depending on how much I am willing to talk.


6:24 PM  
Blogger nawooz said...

- 1 loan
- drives inherited clunker
- handphone
- don't need no chicken soup for my soul. it's gonna burn in hell anywayz
- don't hate it, but the pushy sales person
- 3 ATM cards. employer problems. nuff said
- 1 supp Credit Card, which is collecting dust
- more than rm200
- credit limit? no idea...i guess it's until my parents start calling the cops
- sit down, shut up and listen. speak only to crap.
- salary...if i tell you, you'd probably die laughing.
- subordinates...does my pet cat count?
- benefits...huh???what benefits?
- support grease monkey. need i say more?

8:03 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Well I did say generalize.I myself guilty of the ATM cards part...4 different employers with 4 different banks.

Anyway at least you guys got glam a bit ok.I drive the smallest floorboard on 4 wheels a.k.a motorbike with car bodykit a.k.a entrylevel vehicle a.k.a kancil.

if i do have subordinates they would think they are my superiors anyway since no one respects me.

Credit cards are evil.If they renamed it to "IOU cards" and renamed "Credit limit" to "Hutang List" I assure you people would be happy with account books ;)

12:11 AM  
Anonymous Roshan Noor said...

Teaching NUNs, as long there's no NILF activities takes place

9:21 AM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

you sick, twisted pervert :P

9:35 AM  
Anonymous yvy said...

-not yet swimming but will b if i carry on like this

-has brains to think ahead n am happily driving iswara aeroback

-gadgets? wassat?

-yes, i miss cleo magazine (damn beauty mags are SO depressing!!

-no comments on this, hate insurance n the ppl who try to force me to buy them

-Has 4 or more ATM cards : guilty as charged :(

-thank god i got rejected 2x, now i have only 1 (arse-voids!!)

-one card with cr limit above RM1k, phew!

-cant repeat coz dont go to poshy places, they cant make good enuf teh tarik for me. in fact, they dont HAVE any. sigh. very sad.

-stay n steers clear of any job-y related questionsn but normally gets bomabarded with, when u getting married conversations which i am SO getting sick of

2:38 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

eh yvy when u getting married? o.O

2:44 PM  
Anonymous yvy said...

cilaka....dont love your life is it?? tak mau hidup lagi ka???

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiak!! *that was suppose to me my karate chop lar* :P

8:05 PM  
Blogger Butterflyn said...

I can't help laughing...
cruel truth!

3:36 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

reality oft bites us.right in the butterflyn u also got terlampau movies ar?

5:44 PM  

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