Sunday, September 11, 2005

Malaysian Political Parties

Well, this is not meant to be a political blog, but occasionally I do blog about politics when I get a patriotic vibe.Or lack thereof.Today I am feeling somewhere in between.See, politicians and me have always had a sort of love-hate relationship.I love to hate them.After some time you realize that politics really does everyone not much good.Its like a cycle.

DISCLAIMER: If you are a loyalist, leftist, rightist or middleist and practically worship any one party/politician as a demigod, please be warned that side effects may include utter hatred and/or irritation towards one very lovable Emmanuel Joseph.Long term usage may result in killing or maiming of one Emmanuel Joseph.Jail terms and butt conditions apply.Killing or maiming of Emmanuels would result in termination of own life.Homour is not for everybody.Consult your local yogi.

..read on

Chinese will take money from the Malay government contact to fund the Indian who is standing on a Chinese Opposition ticket.Its a nice arrangement.But seriously...what is developed countries compared to us la I mean US-200 million people, 2 main parties.Malaysia- 22 million people, 1,2,3....wait I lost count.Plus our politicians are probably the most colourful in the region.And I mean no racial connotation with that statement , so Special Branch people reading this,kindly put down your cuffs and remove your sunglasses.I mean the statements issued are becoming recycleable (proving Dato' Ong Ka Ting's campaign for 'Kitar Semula' might be misintepreted)

Not Just Barisan Nasiaonal but also the Oppositetion.

Read this and tell me if you don't think its redundant.

UMNO - "Kita sentiasa mendengar kehendak rakyat.UMNO selaku parti pemimpin Barisan Nasional tidak akan menindas mana mana kaum di negara ini. Kami dalam Barisan Nasional akan berkhidmat, dari rakyat, untuk rakyat untuk menuju negara cemerlang, gemilang, dan terbilang!"- [[which btw I believe is literally translates not to excellence, glory and distinction, but excellent,glittery and counted.]]

UMNO(Pemuda) -"Kami takkan kompromi!!!"

MIC - "Kami menghormati pandangan Yang Amat Berhormat Tuan Perdana Menteri.Kami akan membincangkan perkara ini di dalam Kabinet, dalam semangat Barisan Nasional."

MCA - "Isu ini tidak ada apa apa isu sebenarnya, it is a non issue.Kami semua telah bersetuju dengan saranan Perdana Menteri untuk menyelesaikan isu ini secara sebaik yang mungkin dan secepat yang mungkin."[[Tapi sehingga kini kami masih tak tau apa itu isu tersebut]]

Gerakan- "I will discuss this with the YAB Perdana Menteri.Yes, we will discuss it but for now we cannot come to anything yet. I will bring it up in cabinet and togather , ah, we will come up with a solution for this problem."

IPF -"We really want to join the government, but cannot.Never mind.We still support the government"

USKO,PBS,etc - "Kami berharap dengan adanya program dan rancangan sedemikian kami akan dapat meningkatkan lagi ekonomi negeri, dan seterusnya merapatkan jurang antara Semenjung dengan Sabah/Sarawak."

The Opposite-tion also like this....

PAS- "Ya, kami memang menyokong tindakan tersebut, bahkan PASlah yang menyarankan dahulu langkah tersebut diambil.Masalahnya implementasi tersebut haruslah tidak bercanggah dengan perjuangan PAS.Orang-orang bukan Islam bagaikan saudara kami"

DAP- "We reiterate our stand that Malaysia is a secular country.And that the is totally unconstitutional and uncalled for.DAP demands that retracts that statement."

keADILan - "We are still very much in context with the Malaysian community.Many people are speculating all sorts of things now, but for the moment we are unsure of our political direction.We have many ideas from our friends in the Opposition as well as from our friends in UMNO, but for the moment keADILan will remain as it is "

MDP -"We demand that DAP retract its statement calling for a retraction of a statement.We cannot tell you why, but we demand it.Even though basically we are an opposition party and are supporting the government.Never mind,er, we still demand it.

Let me cautiously state here that I pledge almost total apathy to politics and that this post is purely a joke.A joke.A joke.OK.And for those of you who meluap luap wanna bantai me... please direct your rage at the nearest possible theme park mascot/person called MGG Pillai/futsal court.And for those of you didn't catch it the first million times, its a joke.

16 Comments:

Blogger ali allah ditta said...

Dear Emmanuel Joseph,

UMNO - Kami dalam BN akan berkhidmat, dari rakyat, untuk rakyat untuk menuju negara cemerlang, gemilang, dan terbilang!"-

Betul,tapi khidmat bagi rakyat sikit saja tapi sapu wang dari rakyat cara besar2an.Kalu nak negara cermerlang,gemilang dan terbilang jangan sangat TEMBERANG!!

U also forget to mention the Election Commission,PDRM,
Judiciary,Jabatan2 Kerajaan & Separuh Kerajaan,Rela etc. which are also part of Barisan Nasional coalition.

9:12 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Haha- True.But this is not election season yet-lah.
What is a Jabatan Separuh Kerajaan?

5:52 AM  
Blogger ali allah ditta said...

Just my way of refering to Semi-Govt. $ Quasi-Govt. agencies.

The right term should be Badan-badan Separuh Kerajaan & Separa Kerajaan.

Cheers.

12:26 PM  
Anonymous AWAM (Anak Watan Malaysia) said...

Kami tidak akan kompromi, bidas-bidas yg berbisa dari emmanuel. Tahukah anda tiada Melayu hilang di dunia. Tanpa Cina tiada kesedapan belaka. India dan bhai menumpang mesra. Justeru, saya sebagai anak watan bumi kenyalang ini merayu encik emmanuel utk tidak memperendahkan nasib pejuang pejuang yg menitikan darah demi kesejahteraan bersama.

- Rakyat yang ditindas -

2:35 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Oi apa pantun Merdeka pulak la....
Oh ok...semi governmental la...GLCs?Equally bad is it?

5:28 PM  
Blogger Imurann said...

LOL this is fun.. XD
Hurray for the Underworld.

Some agree, some do not. Emman just stating a comment for us to ponder. Really, how long do human beings live on this earth? :P

a joke is a joke, take it easy. life is just opening another fold of its wonderous mysteries. May glory be upon Him.

[Neutralist]

4:13 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Yay!Glory be upon Me.Yay`~!

6:26 AM  
Blogger nawooz said...

i think Petronas falls under the semi govt agencies. eh eh...blog something about our escalating oil prices lar. plenty of people venting about this 'hot' issue now

7:58 AM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

serious ah.okla.but if i get arrested by the (I) (S)imply (A)rrest laws, then promise you'll come visit!!

9:37 AM  
Anonymous Datuk Seri S. Soter Fernandez said...

For the love of gawd..make love not tangkap secara sesuka hati. Dey BABU....u tunggu apa, Tan Sri Emeritus to speak to you izzit to update the blog...

10:44 AM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

okok

10:04 PM  
Blogger johnleemk said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:31 PM  
Blogger johnleemk said...

Haha, right on, EJ. Reminds me of the time I wrote about the opposition. I just finished writing a letter to Malaysiakini about the meaninglessness of our political parties. Unfortunately, it's quite critical of the opposition as well as of the government, so I'm not sure if the letter will be considered a part of "news and views that matter".

9:32 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Depends if MK has the necceseray fodder at time of publication.I think it should be published as for now there are no juicy issues to politicize.

9:00 PM  
Blogger johnleemk said...

Well, they didn't publish it. Instead they published a couple of juicy criticisms (here and here) concerning my earlier letter on vernacular schools. It's funny, though, since their argument all rests on presumptions that aren't true. They basically read too much into my earlier letter. They seem to think I claimed that vernacular schools are the only cause of disunity.

10:43 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

While language may be seen as a disunifying factor, I believe there are larger forces in motion that is causing the split, if you will amongst Malaysian students.Income disparity, or rather parental income disparity, geographical location and parent's socio-political opinions tend to matter more imho.

10:20 AM  

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