Thursday, January 11, 2007

Of Good Movies and Dumb People

First off, sorry for a no show on the earlier promised pics.My house suffered a power failure.That coupled with some personal stress, saw me going to work 5 hours earlier, spending 1.5 of those hours in the gym, and effectively spraining both ankles.Thankfully, by 6pm, some of those stress have settled, or more precisely 89% of that stress :P

Another 11% and other matters should take care of itself come tommorow morning.Went to some movies recently, back to back.First was Night at the Museum and it was to me, the best Ben Stiller movie ever made.His other movies like Zoolander was just a combination of slapstick, lame comedy and recycled, badly told jokes.Meet the Parents was OK, but it was De Niro who brought out the show.Night at the Museum's big selling point is its CGI and small minute details and a really comedic take on history.

The second nice story I watched was The Guardian, which was basically a ripoff of an earlier Japanese movie similar to the theme.But it was really well done.However I did not enjoy the damned movie at all- no thanks to this couple behind me who basically narrated a skewed version of the movie in Cantonese.Oh, the agony of hearing people talk loudly during movies.Oh, the even bigger agony of understanding what they say.And oh, the unspeakable agony of knowing what they are saying is basically nonsense.

Here is a sample...a really small sampling of the ordeal me and the gang underwent in the cinema...

Scene: Burning ship

Additional non-scripted dialogue cum sound effect by irritating couple- For ! for! Sei For lo.....Wah...kam tai for (wah...fire...fire...damn big fire!!!)

Scene : Someone dies

Additional non-scripted dialogue cum sound effect by irritating couple: Wah! Kam Wai Tai! Chee Kei sei em ser tak phang yau sei...wah chan hai kam tung (Wah! So noble! Self sacrifice for his friend! Wah so touching)

Scene : Someone may have died or may not have died, the scriptwriters have not revealed this

Additional non-scripted dialogue cum sound effect by irritating couple : Oi? Sei chor mei? Hoi sei chor?Yee ka tim?Eeng koi mei sei la (Has he died?How now?Don't think he died)

Scene : Separated couple trying to reconcile

Additional non-scripted dialogue cum sound effect by irritating couple: Lee kor hai meh yan?Hoi ker lou poh ah?Lei fan chor mei? (Who is this?the wife?Have they divorced or not?)

To the dear auntie and uncle who was irritating us the the point of diaorrrhea...PLEASE FOR GOD's SAKE... get a bloody DVD next time.Call me and I will buy one for you.Watch the damn movie in the comfort of your own damned house and if you feel like it,or get too confused, you can just shut the movie off and have like,kinky old people sex or something.Leave us, the already depressed population suffering from rising fuel,toll and living cost, premature ageing, heightened racial and religious tensions, a thinnning ozone, global warming,a whole range of new livestock borne diseases, raging wars in every corner of the globe and the possibility that Spongebob Squarepants may be shut down next season due to maritime life insensitivity.

We have to put up with enough crap as it is,we have friends in MLM, trying to sell us overpriced vinyl handbags and scented candles that smell like ...wax.

We have a PM who gives us heartwarming speeches than announces another price hike somewhere.

We have floods everywhere , and no money to give them, yet enough money to build a giant, bigass keris pewter monument and place it in the middle of nowhere.

So, please by all the names of all the gods, prophets and TVB movie stars that you idolize,stop talking.If the Benedictine monks can survive years of not talking, and lamas in Tibet can observe silence , and Phytogoras demand a vow of silence as a prerequisite to learning from him, I am SURE you will not die if you do not speak for the entire, long duration of 2 whole freakin hours.

There.Peace be with you.Amen.





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4 Comments:

Blogger Reel Fanatic said...

I was flat-out shocked at how much I liked Night at the Museum .. It was almost as smart as it was funny, and I haven't a performance from Robin Williams so much in many years

4:08 AM  
Blogger pelf said...

OMG EJ.. This is hilarious! But then again, we (very very) often hear of complaints by cinemagoers, don't we?! *sigh* I guess the best thing to do is to talk to them in front of other people - embarrass them ma :)

7:31 AM  
Blogger Lizzam said...

I guess it's not only here, since once in KLCC i had similar but more irritating encounter with a group of teenage mutant nin..er.. teenage Aussie girls (from their slang) acting like they're drunken from injecting Durian directly into their brain for the whole 2 hours, even after we sttod up halau derang!

i'd rather spend an extra 5 bucks and watch it in the premiere cinema in BTS...at least the people there respect silence better

9:38 AM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Hehe.Eh Liz, sorry la blur., but what is BTS?

I onli know batu tiga stadium.... :P

or times square ah?Yeala.wanna bring my girl there also.Sigh I ust wanna pamper her like mad

8:31 PM  

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