Why I Cannot Understand Malaysian Housing Estates

OK , apart from the increasingly pan-Asian a.k.a I'm-Malaysian-but-trying-to-sound-European-but-not-too-much-so-lemme-merge-lame-names-that-sound-tropical type of housing project names...

Either they are annoyingly long: like Bandar Sri Panjanghingga Menyumpahditengahjalanraya , or trying to hard to sound Franco-Sino-Malay like: Ville Chic De Sang Sapurba or trying to hard to sound exotic when all you have are two half-alive potted plants infested with stick insects in your 'gateway' arch, like Kaninama Tropical Paradise.

And I refuse to believe that almost all new housing projects are built on hills la..what am I talking about? Bandar Bukit this and that.Or This and That Hills.And whats with the 'sequel' naming convention la...

Sri Lalang i,ii,iii,iv,v,vi,vii.....The problem is, one will be in Pahang, one in Perlis, and thanks to AFTA a few might be in Sukarnosia or Arroyoland.(for the historically blur, Indonesia and Phillipines respectively)

No, apart from ALL that, my REAL problem with Malaysian Housing projects is the damned road names.Not only the new ones, the old ones too.Yesterday night, after some drinks with friends I missed a turn and ended up in someone, wild, ulu area of Klang called Teluk XX(Ai Leen,Mathan,Seelan sorry but I have to ketuk your area wei) now all the names of roads in this area are named after fish.Now correct me if I am wrong but aren;t roads supposed to be name for some big orang 'berjasa' to that area, like Tun HS Lee, Hang Tuah or something?

What the hell did the fish do for the people of Klang?Now my theory goes something like this... One day a pelanduk was...wait, thats taken.OK wait, one day, a fish was swimming near the Klang river when a hungry villager came by and speared it with a tombak, and Poof! It became Coco Crunch!

Err...OK that didn't but lemme get back to my story.I got lost.For those who know me probably know the No1 fact about me which is I am road-sign blind.If you spin me three times outside my house and asked me to find the way back, I'll probabaly get lost.And here you had Jalan Bawal la, Jalan Tenggiri la, Jalan Bawal Hitam la...OMG imagine the trauma.Plus I was sleepy, drunk and overworked.Thankfully, by some miracle, the Gods of the Road decided to be kind to me and after driving over two padangs, I ended up on familiar ground.And so I live to tell the story of when I got lost 10 minutes from my house.Yet another feather in my 'My Life is a Big Fat Joke' cap.

So today I was sending my Colleague back to his car when he yells "WEI" and like the lousy driver that I am I emergency brake in the middle of a yellow box and I heard this SCREECH sound and I saw this motorcyclist do a slide and nearly dropping on the road.His face was only a few cm off from my window.I lowered the window, half expecting the guy to sucker-punch my face and probably pummel the living Force out my me, but the nice guy smiled at me and I said "Really Sorry bang..." in my most manja cute voice, which I realized make sound just like an ah pon, so...

Anyway, I survived, my friend survived and if you're wondering why the word Colleague is in blue its coz I couldn' spell it and had cut it out from a memo from my admin. :D