Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Illogical Advertisments

Sometimes I hear ads that make little or no sense on TV or through the radio and wonder whether those who wrote those pieces live in this planet or otherwise.Or did they get kidnapped by aliens and fitted with growth microchips and reprogrammed as advertising folk as part of a big conspiracy by cute green Martians to conquer Earth by making earthlings stupid.

I mean how else can you explain our weirdness in this age.We do stuff today that just a few years ago would have cowherders in India laugh their asses off at our stupidity.For horror, we now depend on B Grade directors from Japan or Korea to produce the same stupid story about a haunted inanimate, innocent object with recycled scenes like small kid with freaky skin tone staring at you,teenage girl with no facial features(i.e. eyes, nose) looking at you using her, err face, head that turns 360 degrees like an owl,creaking steps and the list goes on.

For entertainment, the 'cool'(read: got money) among us goes to the club that serves the most overpriced drinks coupled with the loudest incomprehensible music.And for the 'classier' of us(read: got not much money) we hang out in a midrange price pub that plays music stolen from commerical radios or illegally downloaded MP3s.While the most 'mature' (read:broke) among us hang out in mamak stalls watching EPL while making fun of the 'cool' and 'classy' people while secretly wishing we had the dough to jiggy around our bloated asses to Sean Pauls We Be Burnin next to a transexual marinated in cheap cologne

I was listening to Light and Easy's ad over and have been meaing to post this.I'm sure some of you have heard this one ... "Imagine a world where trees will be somthing our children only read about in books"

Ah-Hello, has anyone informed the advertiser that trees are what makes books?Unless he/she is living in this Utopic,Eudomanic world where everything is recycled la.But then again, if they are living in Greenpeace Heaven, there should be lots and lots of trees for squirrels to lepak and kids to make treehouses in, and adults to make out in those treehouses under the guise of checking for, er, rabid and wild squirrels.

Or that few stupid ads about chewing gum in cinemas.Featuring that cheesy Hugh Grant wannabe who gives you a megawatt smile while urban Malaysian Tarzan and Jane gives his smiling billboard a much deserved punch, but slides down coz his 'billboard teeth' are so powerful.And that other stupid,stupid ad about vampires, howling wolves(in a greenhouse) and 'The Fresher Bite'

Whatever happened to the cool ads like Carlsberg's "I love you Baby..." with the black macha wiggling his tummy?Petronas,Telekom and Tenaga have several things in common like useless staff,lousy service and lots of overpaid Datuks in them, but they also make great festive ads with deep meaning.In that sense- tabik..

Well after surviving the Portugese,Dutch,English,Malaria,Taun,JE,Nipah,Indonesian Pirates and Al Maunah waving guns, now we got to deal with the police Squat Scandal and certain MP or Memang Poyo who suffer from attention deficit disorders i.e. constantly talking cock to garner cheap political publicity.

To these MPs, I suggest you chill, and ask yourself - do you want to be the one who starts a Perang Saudara and gets whacked in the middle of the road by angry villagers with kayu api?if the answer is no, I respectfully suggest reading Calvin and Hobbes or Playboy or whatever gets your hair down and sip some soya bean coz without the aimless barking,Parliament actually functions better.

Pondering on how amazingly great the Malaysian name has gotten in the past few days, I was a bit depressed, but then I realized it could be worse.I mean imagine how it would be like if someone like me ran Malaysia.Hmm...probably in half a year 'global trade' would translate to hustling pirates off Indonesia to buy belacan from a sampan.But then again, having friends and a cool Alba watch that my dad got me for birthday kinda makes it all worth while :D.its my second Alba after my Spoon which The Human Ass wonderfully spoilt by dropping into a deep pool.Bitch.You're not coming within a mile of this one dude.If you do, I'll badger you to death.

Thanks yvy,Lara,Francis,Pravin,Imrann,Mira,Yap,Soo,Zad and all and everyone else who I've forgotten to thank for your SMSes and birthday wishes.Made my day:D

I have an entire post thought up to bang this idiot friend of mine, but that can wait another day.Or two.Till then, adieu.


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