Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Raja Nong Chik and His RM 200 Million Estimate

200 million ringgit is not a small figure. Figuratively, that's RM 200,000,000.00. How can a gathering of 20,000 people simply roaming the roads of KL cost the government RM 10,000 per person?? In perspective, at the lowest point of the economic downturn, we only had 19 billion ringgit in foreign reserves, so a simple gathering of folks in KL has just cost the government 1% of its foreign reserves. Meaning, if the Opposition just organized 100 rallies with 20,000 people on average, our foreign reserves would've been drained, and our economy would have crumbled.


So if I decide to walk in KL for one day holding a banner up and yelling, the government is going to spend RM 10,000 ringgit to curb me? Wow, no wonder our country has not got it right till today!That being said, I am truly disappointed with the value the government got for the RM 10,000 per person. As I was in a few rallies before this (I more or less missed this one-left halfway , date with someone) I've had my bit of tear gas and chemical water la (for those belum kena tear gas is like rubbing wasabi and soy sauce in your face, and the water cannon water is like a mild jellyfish sting- as long doesn't splash into your eyes)


I  barely got splashed twice the last time, and had nearly no police contact whatsoever (except for one Sarjan who shouted 'Pergi Belakang' and that also was directed at a hyper PKR guy next to me) so if that is all I'm getting for RM 10,000 I would be happy to lodge a MACC report on behalf of YB Raja Nong Chik; with the following arguments


1)      -The water sprinkled on protesters was cheap pipe water laced with chemicals, not truckloads of Perrier water laced with lime , SK2 Miracle Signs Uplifter Water laced with ylang ylang extracts, or better still Coca Cola laced with Jack Daniels (or the other way around). Plus, if they source the water from Selangor, the Selangor Government actually subsidizes water, though I am sure their intention is not for the subsidized water be used to spray on their own people.

2)      -The officers knocking on protesters heads with batons were mostly graduates from a local vocational academy, not PHD holders who charge RM 1,000 per hour.

3)     - Police batons are made with wood, metal and plastics, not bronze, silver and gold.

4)      -There was no lunch provided (even YB Teresa's '2 biji telur and kari' would be better than nothing.

5)      -The police band did not play songs to entertain the protesters.

6)      -No balloons, party favours, pit girls or DJ.




For the price he ended up paying, YB Raja Nong Chik should at least be getting the following


7)      -Protesters ushered in by kompang playing men in blue

8)     - The police band, police rempit squad a.k.a stunt bikers doing some 360 degree flips and interesting and creative formations

9)     - A very, very good morning coffee, lunch, hi tea, dinner and supper for protesters by Ritz Carlton, served by Russian acrobats riding unicycles balancing an elephant on their backs. Menu should at least include caviar, lobsters, abalone, an albino tiger, a blue cow and at least one roasted flightless bird nearing extinction.

10)  -An MJ tribute concert to serenade protesters

11)  -Police motorcade escort for each and every protestor home to their house, a complimentary ride in a water cannon truck, and sightseeing in KL in a FRU Black Maria.

12)  -A pair of Police sunglasses given free after it all, plus two complimentary 'Get-Out-Of-Jail-In-Case-I-Get-Arrested' passes and one free for life 'Gimme-A-Lawyer-Its-My-God-Damned-Right' card


Then OK la, 10K is still a bit pricey, but all the above, hey, I'd be happy to cash in my time deposits!



After all, 20,000 is not such a large crowd (of course I am going by MSM estimates, as they are always true :P)  St Anne's Feast has a bigger crowd than this, and the church in BM certainly spends far less than 200 million ringgit (mainly because we use holy water to sprinkle on people, it only has a little bit of salt in it, and no chemicals. On this note, the Church would like to thank BN for subsidizing salt and water.)


Even Thaipusam in Batu Caves, where 1 million Hindus converge, does not use 200 million ringgit a year on crowd control. Sure, the incense smoke hurts the eyes a little but I can live with it. I have the following suggestions instead for the Federal Government to use the 200 million purportedly spent on peaceful protesters –



  • Save Kg Buah Pala
  • Save Paya Wetlands
  • Save Putrajaya and Cyberjaya
  • Save the MRR2
  • Save the Corridors
  • Save PKFZ
  • Save the Crooked Bridge
  • Save the MATRADE Building and finally
  • Save your Souls from Eternal Damnation.





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