Sunday, July 31, 2005

My problem with Pondans etc

No I am not a overzealous self righteous ass of an Bible Thumper trying to destroy the evils of the world.I just seem to have a long standing problem with Pondans or Bapuks or whatever the hell they call themselves.Or rather it seems they seem to have a big problem with me.It is my personal belief that pondans throughout the country has this vendetta against I dunno, maybe Amber Chia or Angelina Jolie and they seem to want to take it out on people like me.Or maybe its just me.You judge.

Penang-I get harassed by a damn strong shemale as I leave a popular nightspot.Don't be fooled by their fake boobs, this bloody fools are strong like gorilla man.7 years of taekwondo is rendered useless actually.And why the fake female cannot take no I dunno.Thank God I escaped without anything lost, except my faith in humanity and a broken ego.However this I must relate to you.Someone who I shall not mention....tried to console me(I suffer from a bad case of OCD you see...and I was convinced that I had contracted some weird STD and my body immune system was the worst in the world and that I was going to die in 2 weeks)

Consoler Who shall not Be Named: Don't worry...cannot spread so easy.By the way, some time back, something similar to this happened.A guy got hit by a car, and his blood mingled with some dude with AIDS by accident.Some time later he suddenly died, then only they knew he had AIDS.

Now I may not have a degree in Freudian Science....but isn't this the exact thing you DON'T wanna tell a dude who has OCD and needs to be told he's gonna be all right!
So anyway,just to be sure I meet this doctor who after laughing his ass off, went something like this

Unethical Son of a Bitch Doctor Trying to Do Stand Up:So you studied Maths in Form 4 rite?
Depressed OCD Sufferer convinced he's gonna die: (Dalam hati:No you ass, I just bribed my way through SPM and proceeded to complete a degree)Err yes.
USOB:See, first the 'thing' needs to have an AIDS,and 'it' needs to have an open wound in the arm area where it grabbed you.And you need to have an open wound where it touched you, and blood would have needed to go in with a substantial amount before it can take any effect.
Less Depressed OCD Sufferer who knew that but needed Professional Opinion: Ah....so my chances to die is damn slim la?
USOB:Yes, in fact I can say 99.99% is nothing wrong with you.

Near my House- I stop to buy wantan mee at night , and lo and behold dari belakang kereta(these beings seem to like coming from the back) seekor muncul and started knocking my driver seat window.So....after Episode One: The Bapuk Menace, and all the bad memories, I ignited and sped off, in what little speed that can be offered by a malaysian car.Donating 3.00 to the wantan mee auntie.

In a chatroom- Even in cyberspace I am not spared!In mIRC- this 'chick' PMed me and started talking la...like normal ini la itu la....then at last under the guise of asking for my number in case she needed help with a college project(at this point in my mind I am still under the assumption it is a she.)
Later that night, I get a call.With a fucking eerie voice like a male trying to sound female.Try to imagine Louis Armstrong trying to sound like Charlotte Church.Needless to say of course...."I was not me, and she got the wrong number".

I'm gonna stare at a picture of Jessica Alba for a few days to cure the bad taste out of my mouth.

13 Comments:

Anonymous Datuk Saidin Thamby said...

Hehehhe....well well wat can i say man...its the Revenge of da Baps...careful man. I hear BAPS FC might have hidden agenda against half-lings.

10:01 PM  
Anonymous Datuk Saidin Thamby said...

Hehehhe....well well wat can i say man...its the Revenge of da Baps...careful man. I hear BAPS FC might have hidden agenda against half-lings.

10:01 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

yea dude.it is probably a high level conspiracy involving their President

1:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You share an existence with others who are experiencing their own journeys in their own pondan ways, and you have journeying in common, then.

Be kind to yourself and to your fellow companions.

1:19 AM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

I don't have a problem with normal hardworking transvestites at all.I have a problem with street workers who harass the public.Its wrong no matter your gender.

1:21 AM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Or lack thereof

1:22 AM  
Anonymous Karam Singh "himself" said...

I have nothing against pondan's but be kind to Baps. Hmm not when one can scare the living out of you by rendering their "services" or spread another "virus" by just a single touch.

Truly the Gov shud do something abt this, bak kata pepatah dimana biawak memanjat disitular anjing menyalak. Saya Cram Sink Wallau Wey merepot utk TV3.

9:03 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

what the-
anyway yea I know I should be kind to pondans and what not, but I don't consider scaring the bejeezus out of a person an act of kindness on their part.

1:54 AM  
Blogger Imurann said...

AIDS are considered fragile and hard to transmit ^^ A very unique virus which is so hard to spread and dangerous enough to kill someone throughout time.

to me it serves its purpose, so we better keep away from it. lol spandex wont help much, but trying to keep away from that activity is considered good enough. Like the doctor said, it's either deep blood contact or that unexpected brooch onto your backdoor of pain.

Pondan / Gays, well to me they are human beings who are messup in their head, and also they have lead a life which actually no one ever wanted. Anyhow, we need to treat them like whom they but not what they've become. (Rather like we push them aside, it's better to give them pior guidance in whichever point we can)

6:06 PM  
Anonymous Ahmad Hitler said...

Guidance to baps...that's like treating a terminally stricken drunk who just can't go a day wifout finishing a bottle. The brand doesn't matter tho. Anyway, baps are here to stay..as they say some diseases are not cureable. Baps is just another disease plotting the downfall of humans alike.

8:26 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Yea Imrann.Will post more of my experiences mingled will my opinions soon enough.Thank you Hitler for your comments.My next post will most likely be on you.

12:25 AM  
Blogger kensei said...

Story from a friend of mine.

During a disco raid in KL, a group of ah quas and bapoks got taken aside la, my fren kena urine test so he got dragged past them.

This is what he heard.

Policeman: Apa nama?

Ah qua: Amy.... (Shrill high pitched voice)

Policeman: CAKAP BETUL BETUL! (shouting) Mahu kena belasah ka?

Ah qua: Abu...(Normal deep voice)

My fren said he couldnt even piss straight cos he was laughing non-stop, even the cops smiled when they heard it.

11:02 AM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

haha yea man.thats freaky.I mean when the online 'babe' spoke to me once I was so freaked out.

11:07 AM  

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