Thursday, July 14, 2005

Nightmare with a pen.

Pic: Not quite the pen nightmare I had, but equally sickening.

I believe Malaysian doctors are generally a great bunch of people, but a few idiots in the healthcare system spoil everything.Let me share my brilliant experience at a not-to-be-named government medical center that I had to go to as a kid(for the record I usually go
'to some private clinic or hospital, and this preference has been reinforced by my experience that I'm going to relate now).However I am also sure many Malaysian doctors in the public healthcare service are much better than this case.

I still remember it being a Tuesday and I had a terrible, terrible cough that was bordering spikes poking out my throat.The kind people at the center were on break for lunch so I waited..and waited..and waited some more.When it finally came to my turn, I got asked if I were a foreigner, and if I were I needed to pay an extra dollar(this was back in the time before they introduced the 'bakul' system.I told the lady I was not a foreigner(do I even look Bangladeshi/Indon/Nepalese?) and that I had a bad cough.She filled out my card, writing me down as Emmanul Joseph, despite the fact she had my IC in front of her fat lined eyes. And So after about half an hour she saunters to HA's room and I get called in, as I was the first to get the number.Now there was this doctor there who reminded me a female nomad in the desert.I remember having thoughts about Arab Malaysian Banking and its camel logo all of a sudden.So anyway, being one who doesn't believe in first impressions, I told her my problem and when she wore her stethescope I instinctively lifted my T-shirt around my chest(as I so normally do with the clinics, right?)And she freaked out.

Al-Qaeda Doctor: Tak payah tak payah!
Confused First Former:Um..sorry cik.
Al-Qaeda Doctor:Tak apa dik, lain kali tak payah

And proceeded to use like the tips of two fingers to hold one end to hear my heartbeat.Then she asked me if I had any phlegm.I replied negatively and told her I had a terrible pain in my throat

Confused First Former:Sakit tekak teruk, minum air pun sakit.
Al-Qaeda Doctor:Em.

She proceeds to take a Kilometrico pen.I thought she was about to write a prescription, but she beckoned me near and started poking my neck.Why the bloody hell would you want to poke my neck?(A few doctors and med student friends of mine later confirmed my suspicion that there is very little medical value to neck-poking-with-a-Kilometrico)

Confused First Former:(Poky pain)
Al-Qaeda Doctor:Sini sakit, sakit?sakit?
Confused First Former:(dalam hati: memang la sakit bodoh tu pen la....) Ah ...ah...sakit sakit
Al-Qaeda Doctor:OK.

Just that."OK".No verbal explanation of my medication, no assurance that I was not going to fall down and die because of Kilometrico syndrome or anything."OK".The medication:Cough mixture, one course of antibiotics and lozenges.And she diagnosed me, prescribed medicine and everything in under 5 minutes.With a two-finger-stethescope and a magical Kilometrico pen.

"Q for Quality" my pen-poked ass.


Anonymous Franco said...

ROFL...ahhahaha...maybe some form of acupunture lah dey. Its kinda normal though for female docs to inspect without the necessity of lifting up da shirt.

Well..i'm guessing she's must've had one freak moment seeing something new apart from daily dosage of Mat Kilau in sarong at home. wonder you've ceased to use/come near to Kilometrico....

8:00 PM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Yep.Childhood trauma.As Freud says, every bloody thing can be traced to childhood .

10:45 PM  
Anonymous John Kuan said...

Ah the joys of Kilometrico - so many pairs of pants ruined by the black inky stains of the cursed plastic pen.

I share your sentiments. It was a pleasant surprise to come across your blog - good stuff!

8:25 AM  
Blogger Emmanuel said...

Thanks John.Your blog is damned interesting too!

2:39 PM  

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