Thursday, October 05, 2006

Only In Malaysia Part 1

Now that everything is cleared up, i can finally get down to writing my forte- absolutely pointless ramblings on anything and everything that crosses my extremely feeble and indecisive mind.Was thinking about the Visit Malaysia Year 2007 and the pitch the Government is trying to sell to those poor Sheikhs from Saudi Arabia who probably think of Malaysia as a less hotter, more poorer version of their country that has better quality theme parks and shopping malls.Or to those poor Mat Sallehs as a tropical island paradise cum safe haven from terrorists and so on and so forth.Well, as a responsible citizen of the world , I feel obliged to point out several truths about Malaysia to our brethren from across the globe about this country.I think its what Malaysia truly Malaysia.Specially dedicated to my foreign friends.

Only in Malaysia can you find...

1) Almost a hundred seafood restaurants lined up row by row and crazy/mad/obsessed/gila makan KL folk, Singaporeans fill these roads on weekends to eat overpriced sea shells that has a 50-50 odds of actually having anything IN those shells apart from cooked mud.

2)Magazines, banners and newspaper ads advertizing a a beautiful sandy beach in the middle of  a historic city where this maiden is said to be stabbed or something and she's innocent but when you get there you find this tiny beach with like 20 people walking around and if you look hard enough you probably can see some covert agents from BERNAS burning rice and tossing it onto the fields for excited camera wielding red nosed sweaty British tourists to yell "Look Hon, there's still some scorched rice here!"

3)After you visit the largest mosque in Southeast Asia and the largest Buddhist statue in Southeast Asia, and the largest Hindu gathering site in Southeast Asia,and the oldest church in Southeast Asia, don't forget to visit the largest casino in Southeast Asia, and our largest brewery.Indeed we celebrate diversity in harmony :)

4)In case you get overwhelmed by the sight of some pretty girls in the airport putting flowers over your head and some guys beating little drums,please do not be alarmed.We are not cannibals and this is not a prayer ritual prior to sacrificing you to our volcano god.Neither are we going to force you to marry any or all ten of those girls.You wish.

5)Please do not confuse with our (much) smaller neighbour Singapore, similar sounding named countries like Malawi or Madagascar.No we do not have small furry lemurs that speak English and are toilet trained like in the cartoon.

6)There are other things to be found here apart from forests and the KL Twin Towers.And the forests are not located next, in front of or surrounding the KL Twin Towers.The only monkeys you will find in the KL Twin Towers are those wearing neckties and an Oracle lanyard.

And the list continues....


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