Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Malaysia In the Year 2020

First off, allow me to announce to everyone that the MENJ fiasco is over, but not without getting a mention at the Malay Mail first.

The now allow me to proceed with my usual writing, that is stuff that is largely ignorable and have very little literature value as well.Basically, in simple terms, cock and bull talk.

Anyhow, I was thinking the other day ( a rare activity which I do) about what is going to happen to Malaysia in the year 2020.After all, Dr M had these big dreams for Malaysia and will they materialize?This is what I foresee...

 

Disclaimer:I am politically nonaligned even though I heavily support anyone who gives me free petrol.Please take this as a joke as it is meant that way and do not spam me with hate mail or launch a report to PM about me.Peace and joy to the world.

Law Enforcement

Due to stupid requests from VCD Peddler-hunters and jaywalking busters, Every single person that has any small minute part in law enforcement will be armed.Police officers will be circling city blocks in tanks.Jabatan Alam Sekitar will walk around in AKs and should you double park your car, you will feel a cold bite at the base of your neck which means the MPK sharpshooters have got you and you have 3 seconds to live.But our Armed forces will still be defending our country with toy planes that fall from the sky, sampans painted silver to look like metal and fourth or fifth hand Russian tanks that serve better as pest control to kill off squirrels.

Healthcare

As healthcare is getting expensive, Malaysians will now have to settle for Hospice instead of hospital.Its an insurance scheme whereby you pay Rm 200 per month and one fine day when you're terminally ill, the insurance company pays a counsellor to come over and tell you how great you're doing, and how lucky you are to have company while you're dying.Some insurance company may even throw in a fruit basket.Normal Hospitals will be for tourists only.This is perfectly timed as after SARS, bird flu, JE,Mad cow and everything else, vegetables have become infected with Vege flu and most people are living on refined sand that we stole from Singapore.

Petrol Price

As price of petrol will be super high, Government has advised people to spend less and adjust their lifestyles about 30 times now.At the moment the 'adjusted lifestyle' includes living under a bridge and eating scrap off garbage cans.The saved money from subsidies have been used for development projects like a huge museum, a bigger palace, a new national lake and more stuff that people can no longer afford.

Diplomatic Relations

Malaysia now leads , after NAM and OIC, the World Unaligned-Yet-Siding-America Coalition, The World's Voiceless Countries Making Noise League and Corrupted Nations Against Corruption.We still bravely voice our opinions though no one hears them and champion the cause of helpless countries like nuclear powered India and Pakistan, oil rich Cuba and economic powerhouse Dubai. Powerful countries that respect us include Libya,Kenya,Ghana and Zimbabwe.We should indeed be proud of ourselves.

To be continued.

 



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