The Sweet Promises Party

Since everyone is going around about the election, I was thinking of starting my own party.I;m going to name it the ATK (Ayam Tanpa Kepala) Party.We will compete in all seats and constituencies, funded by an Israeli Christian Terrorist group called Jihadi Jesus.We will implement a Canon Magesterium in every district, but the non Christians need not fear us because we will be fair and we promise not to snatch any bodies.Even though essentially we are a Christian based party, we are extremely liberal.And we put forth the following promises so that believing(read:gullible) Malaysians everywhere can support us.

-Petrol in Malaysia will be free on the day we win the elections.In fact, you can claim back money in the form of tax rebates for any receipt of any oil purchase you make before the date we win the elections.

-Water will be free

-Electricity will be free

-We will pay you to use the phone

-We will make (insert name of your own hometown) the new administrative capital.So what if Malaysia has 140 administrative capitals?

-We will make your (insert your Taman name here) the new state capital of your state

-Cigarettes will be a non taxable item

-Alcohol is strongly encouraged

-Education is now both free and optional

-Tax rebates will be granted for food,shelter,booze,educational tapes (including p*rn),toys,chairs,tables and anything your pet consumes.

-Chicken rice shall finally take its place as the national food.Other items to be preserved to include a national animal (Gagak Klang), a national drink (Seamaster), a national hobby (eating) and national interest(gossiping)

-People can riot all they want.If they apply to the government, we will provide police escorts and transportation for them, including refreshments and light finger food.

-The ISA will be abolished, and a Patriot Act will be introduced.No more arrests will be made, but the Patriot Act will have provision for us to gun you down if you so much as look at us the wrong way.All MPs will be granted diplomatic immunity and extra allowance to buuy ammunition and bullet proof vests.Ministers will also be no longer driving Perdanas, but modified Humvees fitted with bulletproofing.

-We will use Barney as our mascot.Pangkah Dinosour!!!