Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Sweet Promises Party

Since everyone is going around about the election, I was thinking of starting my own party.I;m going to name it the ATK (Ayam Tanpa Kepala) Party.We will compete in all seats and constituencies, funded by an Israeli Christian Terrorist group called Jihadi Jesus.We will implement a Canon Magesterium in every district, but the non Christians need not fear us because we will be fair and we promise not to snatch any bodies.Even though essentially we are a Christian based party, we are extremely liberal.And we put forth the following promises so that believing(read:gullible) Malaysians everywhere can support us.

-Petrol in Malaysia will be free on the day we win the elections.In fact, you can claim back money in the form of tax rebates for any receipt of any oil purchase you make before the date we win the elections.

-Water will be free

-Electricity will be free

-We will pay you to use the phone

-We will make (insert name of your own hometown) the new administrative capital.So what if Malaysia has 140 administrative capitals?

-We will make your (insert your Taman name here) the new state capital of your state

-Cigarettes will be a non taxable item

-Alcohol is strongly encouraged

-Education is now both free and optional

-Tax rebates will be granted for food,shelter,booze,educational tapes (including p*rn),toys,chairs,tables and anything your pet consumes.

-Chicken rice shall finally take its place as the national food.Other items to be preserved to include a national animal (Gagak Klang), a national drink (Seamaster), a national hobby (eating) and national interest(gossiping)

-People can riot all they want.If they apply to the government, we will provide police escorts and transportation for them, including refreshments and light finger food.

-The ISA will be abolished, and a Patriot Act will be introduced.No more arrests will be made, but the Patriot Act will have provision for us to gun you down if you so much as look at us the wrong way.All MPs will be granted diplomatic immunity and extra allowance to buuy ammunition and bullet proof vests.Ministers will also be no longer driving Perdanas, but modified Humvees fitted with bulletproofing.

-We will use Barney as our mascot.Pangkah Dinosour!!!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Why Barney Should Stand for Elections

-He has no race, so no one can accuse him of being from the wrong race.
-We have too many clowns in Parliament, a stuffed dinosour would be nice
-We won't have to invent election mascots like Rocket Kid or god forbid, a life sized walking keris, a fluffy crescent moon (like the Mc Donald's 24 hour ad) that looks like a banana, because our candidate IS a mascot
-Your opponent cannot possibly find anything evil about you
-He can btchslap the EC chairman and no one would be angry with him
-No matter how much the police bludgeons him, his head never caves in and pops right back into shape.
-Plastic bottles thrown at him hits the sender back in the face without any effort on his part.
-He does not have a reproductive organ, so scandalous videos are impossible
-To make your opponent mad you don't have to say anything, just dance arond him.
-All your oppnent needs to do is hit you and sympathy votes will win the seat for Barney
-He does not stop with a handshake on nomination date, he will hug his opponent and sing that irritating I love you jingle.
-Styrofoam suit makes for a soft landing when kicked off stage
-Thick costume resistant to backstabs

So Barney, P118 Klang awaits you!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Few more DVDs coming out?

Hmm....if Harakah is anything to believe (and it has uncovered many unknown scandals before) , a few more sex DVDs of ministers are expected to surface soon, the next one in Kepala Batas involving a BN component minister but not from MCA.Interesting.....

After the Last Tango at Flamingo minister got framed (and I really liked him, and respected him) and was made to pay an unfair price for doing the right thing, looks like a few other ministers who spewed moral Islam Hadhari-style comments on him will have to eat their words la.

Harakah even goes to say the place where it occured(Singapore).

Interesting developments indeed.Year of the Opposition?

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Year of the Opposition

I have a good vibe for Opposition this year.Last year, the rakyat showed the government that the trust we placed in them has really , badly eroded.The rakyat took to the streets while an alarmed government tried frantically to stage a pathetic attempt at damage control, which I feel made it even worse.Datuk Seri Abdullah, in my humble opinion is a far worse politician compared to Mahathir.When Dr M was at the helm, the people always felt safe. We felt good and he managed to gets this sense of pride of being Malaysian instilled in the people so that no matter how haywired the country is ,no matter how undemocratic the means he does it, the general sentiment is that he had the government under control.No Minister ,much less, no son-in-law of a Minister were going around making statements as they like.No one were kissing kerises and the racial card was played at a minimal.

I feel the Opposition had a hard time under Mahathir, with the only exceptions in his 23 years being the Semangat 46 uprising and the Reformasi movement.Even so, he weathered the storm and survived two strong uprisings against him.Even as he declared Malaysia an Islamic state, the backlash from the non Muslim community was minimal, as he did so extremely tactfully and with good political calculation.

Now that he is gone, it is obvious how much the Government had relied on him.Soon after the feel good euphoria and hope had dissolved, we are left in a messier political situation now.Every Minister seems to speak as they like, and even BN party leaders openly take jabs at each other in the media.The worse thing about this administration is that they respond to Opposition remarks in such a lackadaisical way that gives credence to the Opposition!

The people roped in (but not very well trained) by Dr M like Zainuddin Maidin and Syed Hamid often fumble for answers while the more veteran politicians like Najib brilliantly maintain an elegant silence over sensitive matters.

There are very few like Kayveas and Bernard Dompok who dares speak out against the government now, while many like Datuk Vijayratnam who used to speak out seems to have mellowed down.In 2003, I remember reading an article in The Star from Datuk Seri Vijay, who wrote on the Islamic State issue.One particular line caught my attention... "I would like to ask the Opposition, do they feel any difference before and after the declaration by Dr M". Since that article, to name a few, Rayappan,Moorthy and Lina Joy was just a few cases while the latest was 2 days ago also in The Star involving a dead Chinese man whose body was taken by JA.I have not read anything from Gerakan on this issue since.

Elizabeth Wong wrote a nice article on the start of a the new year on the swing feeling by the rakyat and as a rakyat, I personally know many people who openly critisize the Government for their flip flop policies.I would say that personally,I feel the Opposition have an arsenal of political bullets to choose from.Each ministry has something to be fired with o.O

Trade and Consumer Affairs- Rising price of goods, flour shortage, flour,sugar and cooking oil shortage

Education - Chinese school and tamil school sidestepped, SRJKC Damansara,rising school fees despite zero fees policies,leaking exam questions

Works-Leaking government buildings including Parliament house,rising toll prices despite PLUS being the richest and most profitable GLC

Health-Privatization plan of healthcare facilities, Medical insurance, and of course Chua Soi lek video

Culture , Arts and Heritage- Lion dance festival still not under federal funding,Mazu temple, Christmas carols almost got banned couple of years back.Whose culture, whose arts and whose heritage?

Ministry of Defence- Purchase of brand new equipment and patrol craft and PLKN deaths

Energy Water and Communications-Rising telco,energy prices.Still no free water.Lousy broadband.

Entrepeneur and Cooperative- Not many funds despite the microcredit scheme.Haven't heard much about the "Kami bukan Along Kami mau Tolong" scheme either.

Federal Territories-Traffic jams, taking 50 years to declare Thaipusam a public holiday!

Finance-Malaysian banks still cannot compete globally, insurance premiums going up, interest rates still low.

Foreign Affairs-Half the world who loved us when Dr M was heading the country now does not like us that much anymore.Singapore issue still unresolved and do something about Myanmar!

Higher Education-No one's on top in THES.Anyone notice we've got way too many colleges?

Human Resource-Unemployment at a high,labour union voices being progressively lessened, foreign labour crisis, siding with PAPA instead of workers.

I could go on and on and on.That's not even going into the numerous scandals involving Government people.

We are supposed to be a 'negara membangun'. In the US,former President Bill Clinton got impeached over ONE sex scandal.We've had t least 4 in the last 4 years, not to mention sexist statements from Jasin and Kinabatangan, 'Tutup Satu Mata", "Bocor",Lingamgate, the HINDRAF issue, body snatching by an overzealous religious department,Christian books getting seized, the word 'Allah' getting copyrighted and made exclusive,screwdrivers being bought at thousands of dollars,pigs getting shot down, people getting shot at,crime is at an all time high and the economy is at an all time low.

Its time to tell the Government- your elegant silence is not so elegant anymore.I pity the good people in the government.May they find political peace.

A highly political evening

Last weekend, ended the week a bit politically when i dragged my old friend to a rendezvous at Bangsar.What was supposed to be a laid back relaxed meeting of old buddies, where we get together gossiping and making fun of our old college friends turned awry(for Francis) when it got a little too political for his liking.All started when Shen contacted Shin and invited him over for coffee.We met in Bangsar Village, went over to Alexis for dinner.We then contacted Ronnie Liu to ajak him join us.Meanwhile, two of Shen's friends,Marini (spel?) and another, leaders of AIC , and fellow members of UPP of which I am too, but as a lousy member I am not as active, so I did not attend many of the recent forums.Then one of Shin's friends suggested moving to Canteena, which we did and Ronnie joined us there.Amir Sari was there too, though he did not join us (WTF- Is Bangsar the next Bukit Damansara?)

Then we all moved down to Delicious, where Raja Petra and co was there, with some other political leaders which I did not recognise.One of them was V David's close aide.I think my dad would have known him, as he used to be close to V David, and an MTUC lawyer named Praba.All in all it was nice to hear these guys talk politics coz unlike the coffee shop version we always get, full of speculation, theories and poppycock, these guys actually know what they are talking about.They've been there and done it.

Anyway we hung out till like 3 with my friend restraining himself from bashing my skull in as politics obviously isn't Francis' cup of tea.Or in this case, watermelon juice.

Friday, January 11, 2008

The EC should be disbanded

The Elections Commision is crap.That guy who looks like a ham sap kui with specs and always babbling garbage about how they are fair and unfairly made into a political target is nonsense.

Of course you can be made into a political issue.You were appointed by a politician, and to boot, you answer as a commision to Cabinet!Cabinet comprises elected MPs from the ruling coalition.Ergo, your boss is the BN!

You have the cheek to ask for evidence on national TV.Here is the evidence!Check these numbers on your electoral roll at .Rakyat, you be the judge of it !

ICs: 991214740101IC: 910815750017IC: 981231081137

Friday, January 04, 2008

The World's Greatest Government

Seriously, the events of the last 3 years really is disappointing to say the least.After reading in the papers today that the Gahmen insists that 'Allah' is an exclusively Muslim term, I am convinced that this government is the most stupid in the world.For crying out loud, please, please read this. Obviously the Government is unaware that Christian Arabs have long been using the word before Malaysia was formed, or even in pre-Islamic Arabia!

Let's recap what the government have done so far in their four years in power

-Raise fuel prices because they claim they cannot take it (yet Petronas is the richest company in Malaysia and its profits are rising )

-Raise toll rates because they claim they cannot take it (yet PLUS is the most profitable GLC and is mostly owned by the investment arm of UMNO, and its profits are rising)

-Appointed a CJ thats a former UMNO council member

-Separated a mother from her child on the excuse of religion

-Separated a mother and wife from her 5 kids and husband, also on the excuse of religion

-Struck a raw nerve with Catholics when they banned our newspaper from using the word 'Allah' and postponed its license renewal to teach the Herald a 'lesson'.Apparently we Christians don't matter to the government, even though Bernard Dompok, Idris Jala, Nicol David,Tony Fernandes,Chua Jui Meng,Pairin Kitingan and a host of other prominent social leaders happen to be Christian.Obviously it also does not bother the Government that some 3 million Malaysians are Christians, and that one of the States is even Christian majority.

-4.6 Billion dollar in PKFZ wasted, even Dubai pulls out of project

-Multi billion dollar bailouts of MAS,Proton and God knows how many more underforming , fat GLCs.

-SCOMI awarded with multiple contracts openly and the PM says its because of their own ability.

-Ministers and Government servants gets increments while public service is still not up to mark

-Political assasination of the few Federal Ministers who are effective

-Samy Vellu sacks entire Cawangans to stay in power,dismisses 30,000 people marching down the street as 'a small segment of the Indian commmunity' and revamps MIC to make it relevant.Erm, someone remind me again, isn't this guy the oldest and longest serving Cabinet Minister?

-Najib tells us to lessen spending.How?




Everything else=Increase

-Set up Royal Commisions of Enquiry then absolutely ignore their recommendations

-PM getting implicated in UN oil-for-food program scandal

-DPM getting implicated in high profile murder case

-10 million pathetic ringgit for Chinese schools,compared to the billions made by PLUS and Petronas

Left unchecked, if this trend continues, I foresee the following if we return BN with a 91% majority again

-Toll and petrol to rise higher to our necks

-BN to continue to badger each other's parties

-Hishamuddin continues to kiss the Keris.In violent retaliation,MCA will keep waving the Constitution.MIC starts swinging machetes, PBS will wave banned Iban Bibles with the word 'Allah' in it and PBB will do the Ngajat.

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