Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Crunch Time:Pakatan

Pakatan's Crunch Time


Some ideas for Pakatan to arrest the declining support base among Malaysians :-


-         - Stop trying to politically assassinate members of your own party. Pointing out mistakes is fine, but all out smear campaigns based on little or no truth is not to be encouraged. And stop feeding us that 'my constituents complained to me' BS. Your constituents and the YB you're trying to kill off is often 3 states apart


-          -Stop making stupid , racist, religionist, holier than thou, 'macauhai' statements, and if you absolutely must, do it in private, not over NTV7 and The Star. Its one thing to openly rebuke, stating the facts, but you damn well know the MSM is going to spin it faster than a motorized gasing



-         - Stop having by elections every 48 hours. People have careers, family and a life. Its fine if someone died, otherwise please don't



-         - Stop practicing similar practices to BN. Pakatan is supposed to be the antithesis of Barisan, not merely a milder version.



-          -Stop appointing incompetent people to posts requiring a great deal of competency. Posts are there for us to appoint strong people to safeguard the people, not as a means of political reward.



-          -Start creating a common identity now that you have a common platform.



-          -Start giving more and taking less.



-        -  Start recognizing your talents and exploit it.



-          -Start defining the current rather than going against it or following it.


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Love is a Many Blundered Thing

Love is a Many Blundered Thing.

I have perhaps the worse possible luck where it comes to my love life. My two secondary school love interests dated me for periods shorter than theirs. Both become something la, one was a writer, another ones now working for an airline as an engineer.

Then in college I met this girl. We dated for 2 years and 11 months before we parted ways. The reason? She was an idealist and I was a realist moron. Then I met this girl in my workplace. It was all roses and peaches till the true colors came out and it turned out to be a black rose, and in an instant, roses and peaches became bunga tahi ayam and durian

The other day I saw this really gorgeous girl at a conference and was about to ask for her name card when I saw her hold another girls' hand.

And yesterday was at another meeting when I saw a very very pretty girl, and tried to get in the elevator with her, but there was a dude there. Then they started talking and she was telling him she needed a babysitter for the weekend, husband not in, she going out bla bla……sigh just no luck.

Enough about my misfortunes, lets talk about my friends'. Coz its always more fun to poke fun at people when you're down right?

Friend No 1: Metal Mouth.

Well this guy, lets call him Metal, clubs every night, and thanks to him, I nearly fell asleep at work. We went to this new place in Aman Puri, and there's this bunch of few girls there, and somehow they end up in our table playing drinking games. NOTHING happened, and so he was convinced it was OK to bring his girlfriend there. From my limited but deeply painful (physically as well, girls have long fingernails and are not afraid to use them) experiences, it's never a good idea to bring your lady to a club, neither for you nor the girl, so I told him so. Thankfully his girlfriend was not too angry about it, or my friend would probably require more than teeth braces :D knowing her height. Er, you two know who you are, sorry la but I could not help but blog about it :P

Friend No 2: Much Ado for Nothing

Its never a good sign when a girl doesn't like to be seen with you and always takes your for granted. My friend, Jason Statham A/L Joe Sathiam ( Not his real name) has had advice from me, his ridiculously funny cousin brother, his ridiculously perpetually angry cousin sister, my other friend Metal (refer above story) and half the known world advised him to stop it, but I guess love's not only blind, it makes you a little deaf as well. Flowers la, dinner la (he actually took cooking lessons from yours truly, and this lazy bastard never cooked a meal in his life) and Gods knows what else. Thankfully ( and God I hope this remains this way) he is over her.

Friend No 3: Never Say Never.

I was holding my friend through his breakup. He called his ex a million and one names, ranging from free-range chicken to prostitute. And that was harsh because I like calling a spade a spade, but I won't even call a prostitute a prostitute. And he vowed to the 36 levels of heaven and 18 levels of hell that he would never speak to her again.Fast forward 3 months later, who do I bump into in a shopping center? Mr Never Ever Date That Slut and his 'prostitute'. I just smiled and walked on. I had half a mind to walk up to her and ask 'How much is he paying you?' but thankfully decided against it la. But then again this friend has a history of backtracking, so I guess it was foreseeable. Eat spit. Never ever say never.

Friend No 4: Opposites Attract.

Being an Adonis sure has its advantages, but attracting the wrong gender is not one of them. A friend of mine , Optimus Prime, seems to be an instant dude magnet, only two problems here, he is a dude himself and he is so old school the very sight of the smallest gay-ish gestures makes him go Eeek and Aaak. So imagine the OMFG look on his face when someone stops him and asks for directions and ends with the question – "Are you a good boy or naughty boy?" If Santa asked me that when I was 12, I would know the exact answer immediately. At 25, and instead of Santa, you have a guy whose only commonality with Santa is their affinity for smooth skinned elves. So, no Optimus, I have no answer to your question, though I bet you felt violated :P

There, I feel better already. Now who said bitching is reserved for women

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Mob and Mop Politicians


Mob based politicians and mop faced politicians.


There are politicians who are accused of being with the mob and then there are politicians who look like mops. (See if you've been used to losing your elections a few years straight, the sulk on your face goes longer and longer, especially if you're your party's sole candidate. Eventually the sulk becomes so long you can mop the floor). But I'll skip the latter and think I'll write about the former. After all, he who eats chili feels hot right?


A few days ago one politician from a different state and party, albeit in the same coalition accused another politician of being associated with the mob. Now there is nothing wrong with looking like a mop, but being with the mob is the highest order of betrayal of voter's trust, or so the mop politician seemed to be saying.


According to this politician, a state certain exco in the Selangor Government has


a)      had mobsters over

b)      let the mobsters use his office as a 'secret meeting place'



Curious minds are inquiring; how did this politician, sitting in his office far, far away have the time or even the need to spy on another politician, far, far away?


Doesn't his constituents need help with their issues? Wouldn't his resources be better spent serving his constituents? And what exactly is the crime here?


I am sure the MP is aware, there are 4 elected representatives in the same office, and an entire department based on the same floor as his targeted exco. The SUK building is teeming with security guards, police officers patrol daily there, high ranking police officers often file in and out for business visits, not to mention the many UMNO representatives also walk in and out of the area.


Apart from that, as that exco mentioned, there is the CCTV system and logbook.


With all this, EVERYONE there seemed to have missed this underworld figures, so I must be an idiot to believe an outsider, who admittedly has not been to the exco's office nor the SUK, presumably based on hearsay, openly and maybe stupidly tries to tarnish his comrade's reputation.


From this you can conclude either of these things


a)      The MP in question possesses a hell of a good hearing/eyesight to be able to detect something that was missed so many people

b)      The MP in question recognizes underworld figures that missed the eyes of so many people, raising the question- is he an underworld figure himself? If so, he should be investigated immediately. If he has a good eye, Special Branch should consider hiring him!

c)      The MP has erred and is just continuing shooting his mouth off.



Assuming the exco in question really has had people connected to the underworld over, what exactly is the crime here? Is he a loan shark, prostitution syndicate owner, drug lord, or even used any of these services?


The same MP has also made noise before this on YB Lim Kit Siang's AP (later proven untrue) and YB Teresa Kok's job title.

Notice a trend here? On that topic of YB Teresa's job title, I can't help but wonder..


Suka hati MB la nak panggil dia Exco Kanan ke Exco Kiri ke, Exco Tengah ke, yang kau bising tak tentu pasal ni apahal?


The only crime, if proven, and if any, is keeping distasteful or questionable company. But if that is a crime, I suppose all lawyers are guilty of it. The MP in question, being a lawyer himself should know.


Those who live in glass lighthouses should not throw stones. They should grow some instead.

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A Good Weekend

Weekend … Long Time Pending.


Had a blast this weekend. Well, to start off with, its my first weekend without having a callback on Sunday for weekend activities ;)


Spent Friday having more alcohol than I've had in quite some time. Ate Japanese. Spent Saturday with my ex colleagues that just started an ex-employees association:  P

All but one was an ex employee, so Bubba (not his real name) you cannot be considered a full member yet, maybe an associate member. But please do keep us posted on the latest by Short Chinese Man (not his real name)


Karaoke at Neway now has become much cheaper. As expected, our ex boss was too busy too attend due to work obligations. The man works way too hard la. Alas, they removed the oysters.And the prawns. Just hope they don't remove the karaoke sets next.


Later we went for wine at a nearby wine lounge. It's been a while since I've done this so certainly was a pick-me-upper


Spent most Sunday with Milk and Blur. Since Lamp Post was not with us, we could eat Sushi.


I am now convinced more than ever than Lamp Post had slept with a Japanese girl, didn't like it and therefore hates Sushi in obvious retaliation. Its either that or he's not over the tragic death of his pet tuna.


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Kids These Days...

People tell me I have a hell of a good creativity. Actually I have this huge problem. You know how they say that people are either left brained or right brained? I firmly believe I am middle brained. I am in a constant state of conflict. My job demands logic, and a lot of it. To escape from this pseudo permanent logical state of mind, I escape to illogical creativity. Since I was young, this has been an issue. At the risk of sounding a tad fruity, I enjoy creating worlds, characters etc in my mind.


Well its all true, and I have my parents to thank for that. My parents were probably the cheapest parents around. I mean, the only thing they had an abundance of was affection, which by the way is highly overrated. I've had people come up to me and say oh your parents love you so much bla bla. I had a few teddy bears and hand me down Barbies from my sister. Other than that I had next to nil. I had to work my ass off for stuff other children just got automatically. Hey boy, you wanna bike, get me 7As in your UPSR…. But I only got 4 subjects. I don't care…make an A. Heh, so much for Christian parenting. That dumb kid with binocular spectacles down the road only had to get no 37 class position out of 39 to get a motorized bicycle. I had to be in the top 3. When I finally got my bike, my dad bought me a bike about twenty sizes too big so my sister ended up using it. And people wonder why I grew up depressed :P


When you don't have much, the only thing you have is your imagination. My mum's vacuum cleaner became a high-powered 7 in 1 multi rotation machine gun. My dad's old wallet became an incoming bat-creature bogey and my sister's shuttlecock became an ICBM.


I used to drive my parent's crazy, all the cushions in my house would come down, I'd build myself a fort complete with a hole to fit my cannon. An old drainpipe outside my house became the cannon.


It wasn't till I was about 12 before I got my first 'real' toys. By then I was so old the toys didn't even fit much anymore. I remember I got this gun, complete with gunpowder rings, which you could fire out rubber pellets with. More rubber bullets than could possibly hit a Pakatan protester hit my poor, poor dog. I also got firecrackers which I would pretend was firebombs and launch liberally towards my neighbours cat. Hey, I was 12!


Among other things that were the garden tool-toy collection I had. No, it's not a kiddie gardening tool set, rather a set of garden tools converted into toys. Plant markers became poison darts, rolls of fence became barbwire, my dad's rake; became a bishop's crozier (or a guitar depending on my mood) and my dog's kennel was ground zero. God, I pity the dog in retrospect now, I must've launched a million projectiles at it.


So pardon my raw green jealousy when I see kids these days walk around with their 400 ringgit Transformers la. My 'Transformers' toy was this cheap tractor robot that came free with Vitagen circa 1993.We have 12 year olds now walking around like freaking Inspector Gadget!


What happened to working hard? The only values parents teach these days to their kids seem to be the value of money.


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Irritating internal sound bytes

Once there lived a dude,
Caught up in a feud,
Between his party and he.

He went on his own way,
The flavour of the day,
And opened his own party.

He tried his hand at votes,
He barely could read his notes,
But held on selfishly.

Smack in the middle of town,
He canvassed like a clown,
Just seeking publicity.

He didn't fare so well,
Despite his head so swell,
Just a creaky political has been.

Many years has passed,
Since people remembered him last,
A kind soul passes him a lifeline.

He wins from sheer luck,
Coz people didn't give a ****
Who he was or where's he's been.

And what does he do?
He picks up his shoe,
And throws it at the first ex colleague he sees!

Such is the impression he sold,
A vengeful bitter soul,
Deserving of the title MP?

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