I had a nice conversation (read private messaging) with Bodi, Francis, and an old friend with whom I just got reconnected - Esther during my lunch hour today and I decided I am being way, way too serious.I mean I am already a moanful , mournful person at work , a morbid person at home and most of time I am too rigid for my own good.When I read back my blog posts from 2004-2007 I realized I went from carefree hippie to walking corpse, which would explain people trying to avoid me like a plague, or why some of my friends ears turn a bright red when I start speaking, or why I have an idiot friend like Francis who makes you cancel your appointment with meeting state Exco members just so he blow you off your lunch appointment.Bear in mind this is the same friend of mine known as 'Raja Janji Keling', 'Juara Omong Kosong' and 'Jaguh Gebang Besar'.Abdullah Ahmad Badawi would be proud of Francis.
I really ought to lighten up.I had a meeting yesterday with some of my bosses and clients, and I was so uptight, literally I felt like someone jabbed my face three times with Botox,my chest felt like it was on Viagra , that went down the wrong path, and I had to use mind over matter to get two ends of my lips to curve into a smile that probably looked more like a muscle spasm than a smile.So help me God.
So to take off some of the high pressure steam collecting around my neck, I'm going back to blogging about the more light hearted things in life.Like what Badawi can now do to save ailing political career.I guess with his political connections he can still manage to salvage something and maybe someday bounce back like an excited kitten jumping on a hello kitty vibrator.
1)He can marry Rafidah.Both of them can start another family together, but the only cabinet AAB will be in charge of will be the one full of condensed milk cans and dry groceries.
2)He can quit and with Mugabe, form a government in exile somewhere in Tuvalu.There he will give press statements via Youtube and call down curses from the African gods upon UMNO who deserted him.
3)He can in a dramatic twist of events, fall at the feet of Dr M and kowtow to apologize for not straightening the crooked bridge project.Dr M does not accept his apology and in a dramatic twist, calls the group of schoolgirls from that Youtube video to assault AAB.Matthias Chang records this on his camcorder and enters it into America's Funniest Home Videos and wins the grand prize.
4)He can join So You Think You can Dance as a celebrity judge, and use the judgment airtime to deliver a poem that hopefully wins over the heart of Malaysia.The title of of the poem could probably be Negarakuku(besi).
5)Call for the resignation of all known detractors.In a state of confusion, also asked for the resignation letters of Karpal, Kit Siang and Anwar Ibrahim.
6)Form a rock band and tour the country.Calls his band Bad Awie and the Fallen Devils.
7)To win popularity among youth, revives program to rehabilitate Mat Rempit at the newly built center in Sepilok, next to another world renowned rehabilitation center.Also builds similar centers for Mat Jenin, Mat Angau and Mat Keris.These centers are built to cure addiction to corruption, racism and Cinaphobia.As according to Dato' Seri, all this leads to 'Mati' so he reverses Mati into i-Mat(like i-Pod and i-Mac) and hence the name for this program.
8)Parti Satu Malaysia is formed by merging all parties under UMNO flag.The new party logo would be em, the UMNO flag.Parti Sosialis sues them for copyright infringement as the acronyms are similar.
9)Dato Seri becomes a sage in the hills of Bukit Tinggi and masters the higher arts of being able to answer a question and not quite answer it at the same time while satisfying everyone, kinda like Najib, and later a character depicting him appears in Diablo 3: Pendeta Bertanduk.
10) He could always resign from UMNO and form a new political entity completely different from UMNO, United Malaysians Yelling, Eating and Sleeping (UMYES) with a membership of 2 million and an active participation of fifteen.Then Pakatan Rakyat may not have to work so hard after all!
Labels: AAB, Barisan, Dr M, UMNO