Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Ramblings on Mixed Parentage

This whole week I've been feeling really invincible, as opposed to me usually feeling invisible.
Largely due to a third increment in 6 months!Though not as big as the last two, its still an increment and still has some effect to my current euphoric state.Secondly was an overdue company SIM card means I do not have to reload like a mad dog every time there is a system down.

Another was the overwhelming kehebatan of the Chindian community(Julian and other Chindians reading holler !) First Nicole, then Esther(the SPM top scorer who happens to be from my church).Though Nicole makes me feel like the hopeless sportsperson that I am(to me the closest to sports is getting pelted with high-speed paint blobs aimed at my neck, or getting a headshot in CounterStrike) and Esther makes me feel amazingly stupid,still feel proud of fellow Chindians la.Its alwez nice to ponder on your ancestry.

My mum's side's the Yong, meaning somewhere along the line, my maternal ancestors were riding horseback and were great Generals in China.Or it could be a mistranslation and my maternal grandparents could have been fruit pickers or silkworm catchers.And somewhere later, some migrant ancestor/relative of mine could have discovered Ampang's Yong Tau Foo.

My paternal side is more vague, all I got was my grandfather was from India.Duh.Like I needed rocket science to tell me that.He was brown and spoke Tamil, where could he have been from, Canada?

But I think mix-raced people (or as my friend Hizzad so crudely puts it, cross breeds) are one heck of a unique bunch.Its nice if you have the best traits of both sides.Whats worrying is that if you have the wrong traits.For example if you cross an Italian and a Japanese, it would be nice if you had a Japanese's industrous attitude and an Italian's sex drive.It would be sad though, if you had an Italian's work attitude and a Japanese sex drive.

Whats more interesting is to produce a Japali, you could have a Japanese dude with an ultra small um, ability with an Italian Sophia Loren wannabe on a bed and she would be like "are you done yet hun?

Or reversedly you could have a terrified, shrieking Japanese porcelain doll that screams Ide every half a second with an Italian Marc Anthony lookalike going "Relax-a- lady, I am only-a- unzippin' "

I could have written a better post but maybe later in the evening o.O

Sunday, March 05, 2006

What The Hell?

Have you ever woke up one morning and decide that life is simply fucked up? Well it happened a couple of days ago to me.I just woke up that morning and decided I would rather be a fruit picker in a poor African nation that steals from UN aid trucks and is filled with corrupt, dying generals who are waiting to transfer money to you via email through their 12 year old widow wives.

I would rather be an anal wart on Malcolm Glazer's ass or a pimple on Britney's silicone puffballs.Wait, I retract the last one, as I believe that is the object of every teenage dude's fantasy.It used to be being Pam Anderson's knickers but I think the whole boob and ass shrinking thing and Ms Baywatch's obsession with how KFC should slit the throats and throw their chickens into boiling water in a more humane way kinda put the guys off to worship people who touch their boobs in music videos instead.

To fully illustrate my point, I would rather be a pathogen that lives in an anal wart situated on Malcolm Glazer's ass that he got as a result of being sodomized by a African general who beats his 13 year old wife and robs UN aid trucks and happens to love Arse-anal(no pun intended) in his "Starving Africa Loves Man U since the Rest of the World Wishes Me Dead Campaign"

Oh and why am I pissed off?Let's see...for starters petrol price has increased again.And every single time it happens, the government tells us to realign our lifestlye.If this keeps up for 5 more years.... everyone will survive on roti kosong and carry around their own tea bags to the mamak stalls.Foreign car manafacturers will soon have a new concept of a motorized tricycle with a hood and market it off as haute couture.After all you can stick a yawning tiger's face (think Power Rangers logo that is emblazoned on every Waja u see...) and charge Malaysians double the price for half the quality nowadays.

And if you don't buy that car you become a national traitor.And the money saved will be used for improvement of roads.Woo-hoo.I suppose it makes sense.Its a double edged strategy, the government is trying to force everyone to use bicycles, then they can improve the roads and it will remain perfect for twenty years and they can take the credit for it while some dude who pours black paint over tanah liat, spreads it around and sells it to the government for half a trillion dollars as a highway.

Not forgetting the guy who gets paid 300 million to come over, look at the black painted tanah liat, fart on it, take a piss on the sidewalk and notice the paint is not good, recommends Dulux Weathershield instead and charges the government another billion for his high qualification which consists of a diploma in pottery making and a MBA from the Purple Macintosh University which is esentially an online scam ran by one of the 117 illegal offspring of the butt-rapist African general.

In a rare moment of enlightenment, I have decided to move to Africa.And I am bringing with me a lof of KY Jelly(lubricant) and I'm gonna look for General Abubumazafufu whose wife, Sally has apparently contacted me through her underground network to smuggle trillions of USD out of Iraq and where I'll probably end up in Guatanamo Bay getting laid by horny servicemen.Either way, I am screwed.