Friday, January 20, 2006

I've been Tagged

I hope this is what Pelf meant about the tag.If not, just ignore me as I make an ass of myself.

Write an entry between 100-200 words, with these words included once, and once only.
Out of the 10 words, you can only change 2 words.


One morning, I woke up to find myself on a beach full of female gorillas dressed in skimpy bikinis.As a very frightened Emmanuel tried to locate any sign of exit/shelter when a group of these gorillas started taking notice of the lost guy on the beach.One of them came up to me and plucked two grapes out of her ass and waved it in my face.Her random actions cause my tummy to rumble with a unbearable desire to laugh, but the thought of the power of those two gigantic, hairy, presumably smelly, tick infested arms (that might turn even King Kong off) smashing my face was not a pleasant one.

I guess loneliness kinda takes its toll on gorillas as well, being all sexed up and nowhere to go.Sensing my disgust with the 'gift', the gorilla started running for the water; presumably to kill herself Suddenly, the dysfunctional robot from 'Zathura' dropped on her and instantly she fell in love with it instead, proving once and for all that gorillas are as fickle minded as , say, my ex-girlfriend, albeit a little prettier.(read:cheapshot).This amazing random turn of events amazed even the other gorillas who presented the happy couple with a copy of a famous blue film from Animal Planet, "Silverbacks gone Wild" and the day ended with Queen Kong giving SesatTron 2000 a very metallic blowjob.

Tagging The following ppl

YS Chan

The reader of this blog.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Blonde joke

Normally I don't do this, but I read an amazingly funny blonde joke here


Hint: You are part of the joke.

Get an advanced look at the new version of MSN Messenger

Monday, January 09, 2006

How I started the New Year

First and foremost let me start by apologizing for my lack of entries especially for Christmas and New Year.Well as the JPJ Campaign goes, Better Late than Never rite?Wishing everyone an ultra belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Spent my first few New Year days by gleefully staring at the letter stating my bonus and increment for 2006.Then two days back I discovered a side of Emmanuel I did not know existed- "Hero Driver"

This is, of course not to be confused with my other driving 'avatars' including "Swearing Bitch" (where flowery words are sprinkled on the road as I torrent through the streets), "Mangkuk Berayun" (where I sway from left to right with the grace of doing the Drunken Fist) or "Kancil Rage" (where i begin to console myself by laughing about the fact that the bigger car drivers probably haven't paid their installments and that their petrol costs an arm and a leg)

The Hero Driver, like all great hidden powers was forced out of me when a real dingbat lorry driver thought it was the right time to drop a stone in the middle of the road, and the stone thought it was the right time to hit my windscreen and my windscreen thought it was the right time to shatter.In other words, here I was adjusting my radio and when I look up after hearing a 'Thud' there goes my beloved windscreen crackling into small segments.

Using the ample training I have at receiving bad luck, I swerve (mind u, a kancil, at 100 odd, with fat angry sweaty trucks on both sides)and halt my car at the side of the road.) Then I take out the free umbrella Kurnia gave me a few days earlier and begin to whack my windscreen, and the people of Klang, easily amused by funny sights slowed down to, well, as all good Malaysian drivers do, take my car number for 4D.Plus, it rained.

The kicker is how many people at work who knew about my accident (means they saw poor me driving minus my magical rain protector window)the next day yet the lack of attention/belas kasihan I receieved white smashing my window at the roadside.But then again, a sweating angry looking guy who was whacking a windscreen in the side of the road probably looks a lot like a road bully, or a nutjob, or someone who is undergoing severe depression,or a roadbullying nutjob who is undergoing serious depression.

However, being thoroughly optimistic about the new year, I refused to let that dampen my spirit and proceeded with my plans to go karaokeing with my friends, despite the fact I have been rendered financially 'kaku' following my little accident.Besides it was Soo's birthday.Haha this guy is the first in my gang to have a birthday this year so it makes him the oldest....double this with the fact that I am the youngest :P kinda offsets my grey hairs.

Singing our hearts out, with our bad voices and sore throats we really sounded and looked like 5 gay desperate men especially with that one song of "Barbie girl".Adui lawak....But hey you've gotta let your hair down once in a while, however short or grey they may be.Another major accomplishment for us this year is that our designated driver ,Sepet(so called as his eyes are not visible when he smiles) has passed the boundaries of Klang and ventured to OneUtama!Even though he grumbled and sulked most of the way I think he enjoyed it in the end.Thats one of my new Year's resolutions by the way.With friends, spend more time outside Klang.

But that kinda clashes with resolution no more money.Hmm...ponder on this I must....till then, adieu.